Tingedwords

Return

2012-02-10T18:58:00.000-07:00

I am not one to make new years resolutions, I never have been. But today I was sitting here and I realized its already the second month of 2012 and I have been ignoring a lot of things I enjoy. So here is my effort to start blogging regularly again and keeping whoever still reads this up to date with the happenings in my life.

So lets see, in the last six months I have...

1. Gone to Makeup School and graduated (I'm now a certified makeup artist!)
2. Got a new job (I work in a probation office for the government)
3. Had my first craft show (Which went amazing and was so much fun)
4. Turned 26 years old
5. Tried to keep up with my etsy shop.
6. Shared time with friends and family.

And now for some pictures.

Photography by mju foto. (http://mjufoto.com/)
Makeup by Suzanne Becker (http://www.facebook.com/TingedExpressions)
Model: Leah

Photography by mju foto. (http://mjufoto.com/)
Makeup by Suzanne Becker (http://www.facebook.com/TingedExpressions)

Model: Georgia

Blown Away

Poseidons Gift

Well there are a couple pictures at least. For more etsy listings please visit my Shop. For more makeup looks please visit my Portfoilo.

Now I solemnly swear to update this at least more often then once every six months...

2011-12-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

I seem to have forgotten this place existed....

Well Merry Christmas everyone. And a Happy New Year!

Update

2011-07-08T20:07:00.001-06:00

I've been ignoring this place again. But in my defense, life has had some MAJOR changes in the last few weeks and its been pretty hectic and a bit overwhelming in some aspects.

Most of you know that I signed up to go to Artists Within Makeup School. Well classes have started and I think they are going really well. Its harder then I thought it would be, but a ton of fun as well. We have our first test on Monday and I haven't studied for it and I REALLY need to do that because it won't be easy. Its all about skin care and skin diseases and knowing which ones are contagious, etc. As well as different skin conditions and what sort of products you should use with what. (Its actually quite interesting!). I think the best part about class though, is the fact that even if I am grumpy before class, by the time it ends I am always in a happy, chipper mood. The girls there are great and our teacher is awesome. Its a fun group and as I love doing makeup... what is there to be cranky about when I'm there?!

What some of you might not know is that I started a new job this week. I now work for the Solicitor General Department of the Government of Alberta. Its pretty intense and overwhelming actually, but really cool too. I am getting to know my criminal code of Canada better at least! I work in one of the parole offices in the city. Its neat, and of course all confidential, but interesting. I just need to learn a lot of things and my brain is a bit fried. Especially since I was left alone today already with no one to ask questions to! YIKES! I survived though!

What else is there to say.... I swear I have things to list in my shop... just no pictures of those things yet since I haven't had time to take any. I think I will try work on updating my shop this weekend along with trying to get my house organized. I'll also stop rambling now.

Just a quick update for those who care!

<3

Red Hair and Makeup

2011-05-28T16:31:00.000-06:00

I finally decided to do something with my hair other than the black and blonde... so what did I do? I went RED. Very red.

And since I think red and green look fabulous together, I did green makeup.

Eyeshadows Used:

Emerald by PureFusion
Jord by PureFusion
Bare it All by PureFusion

I also went and got my hair cut today, which I am not sure how I feel about. Its the first time I've actually gotten it cut professionally in about 2.5 years I think. I think I might have to fix it up though... hmm....

Spring Sale!

2011-04-29T09:14:00.001-06:00

My etsy shop Tinged is having a sale starting April 30 - May 5th ! 10% everything in my shop (excluding shipping) as part of the Etsy Alberta Team Spring Sale! A whole bunch of shops from the teams are participating. You can see the list of all the shops and what they are offering HERE

I am pretty excited. It's my first sale.

And on that note, have some pictures of some of the newest items!

Blooming Sunrise

Ocean Sunset Earrings **SOLD**

Ocean Sunset Necklace

Wrist Cuffs!

2011-04-27T11:38:00.000-06:00

Last night was product picture taking night! I never finished editing them all before I snuck off to bed, but I got a couple wrist cuffs done and posted!

Recycled Earth

Cream and Brass

I think my favorite part of these wrist cuffs is that all of them are made from almost entirely upcycled materials. Old bits of lace, an old purse strap, buttons from all over, etc. They are so much fun to make and use up all the scraps that I can never throw away because they always end up being useful!

Ghost

2011-04-25T20:05:00.000-06:00

The Adventures of Suzy and Sil

2011-04-25T19:27:00.000-06:00

I feel like this should be a 'Part Three hundred' since we go on adventures so often. Seriously though, we have so much fun together dressing up like we are still little girls and going outside to prance around in high heels and take pictures of each other.... and freeze our butts off... get stared at... and have little dogs chase us because I've got fox fur on (I kid you not I just about had a heart attack when two Doberman's passed right after that. Thankfully they didn't seem interested!)... drink tea and pretend we are posh.

Craft Fair with Handmade therapy

2011-04-18T15:39:00.002-06:00

So this past weekend my sister, Hilda had her first craft show for her shop handmadetherapy. I went along for moral support and boredom preventer (because I am just that entertaining and charming). Despite the fact that there was a storm and therefore hardly anyone showed up, her table looked amazing and it was a ton of fun so here are a slew of pictures.

(the lovely shop owner)

Now go check out her shop since most of the things on that table are now up in her shop! Since she is a listing machine, unlike me who has a ton of things made and nothing actually posted recently. I should get on that!

50's Inspired

2011-03-30T07:50:00.000-06:00

I have to say that after starting with simple elastic type dresses, this one was MUCH more of a challenge. Really you don't want to look too closely at my stitching. I made a lot of mistakes. It was a lot of fun though and I do like the 50's vibe that it gives off.

One thing I did learn for sure though, is I really need a dress form. Since I don't use patterns (I tried that once, it was awful. Turns out I have no idea how to read a pattern!) I just cut things out how I think they should go and pin them... well basically on myself (please don't go thinking I stab myself with needles here... that only happens by accident) and trying to pin a dress behind your back is really quite difficult!

Piercings

2011-03-29T10:08:00.001-06:00

I have ears full of holes and stuffed with metal. I got a new one on Sunday, the conch peircing (the hoop) seen above. Sometimes people ask me why I love piercings so much and last night I was thinking about it and when I first decided I loved them. Honestly, I can remember it clearly.

I was eight years old and I was taking the bus home. There was a girl on my bus named Suzy, she was a teenager and I thought she was the coolest person around (sharing the name might have helped) and she had an ear full of hoops. I was utterly fascinated and right then and there I decided that when I grew up, I wanted to have pretty ears like her.

Now I do.

And I love them.

All that Glitter is Gold

2011-03-28T09:00:00.002-06:00

Gearing Up For Spring

2011-03-23T20:21:00.004-06:00

Or maybe I am just dreaming. It certainly doesn't look very 'Springish' out there!

Regardless, by the time Spring does decide to show her face, I will have an arsenal of cute dresses to wear. That is my goal at least. Two done, fabric for a least two more to go!

Next up on the list to make: Blue dress with white Polkadots!

Also, can I just say that sometimes it is fun to be me? I think that if I have ONE positive trait, it is creativity and imagination. Intriguing, different things make me just want to create create create.

I know I have reiterated this probably too many times to count, but to me, makeup is an art form. While I love Canvas as well (Speaking of which I just bought a bunch of those and should really get to painting with actual paints!) I also love the human face. It has so much texture and depth and each is so unique. Yet at the same time you can take a face and completely alter the perception of it by playing around with a little makeup.

Now last night I didn't go to any great extremes, but I did have fun experimenting. Since I love red makeup and since I do looks for Pure Fusion Mineral Makeup I asked Chantelle if she had any. She didn't at the time, but what is absolutely amazing is, she thought that it was a good idea and wanted to try make some and let me be the tester! How amazing is she?

Actually that reminds me. One of these days I REALLY need to ask her how on earth she got into making makeup and how she does it! It absolutely floors me that she actually makes it on her own. So cool.

Right, back to the point. She sent me a bunch of samples and so I tried a few of them out last night with some other eyeshadows by Pure Fusion and came up with the following look:

Makeup Used:

Eyeshadows: Lemon (pure fusion), Tuscan Sun (pure fusion), Unnamed Red (pure fusion)
Eyelashes: Makeup Forever
Glue (for lashes and jewels): Duo Eyelash Glue

Is that all I had to say? I think so!

Green for St. Patricks.

2011-03-17T12:21:00.002-06:00

Silly facial expressions aside, I had fun last night making the above pictured dress. It was really simple to make, and I didn't use a pattern or anything, just sort of winged it. I am pretty happy with the results! What do you think?!

Is it cute enough to do a tutorial over? Its certainly easy enough!!

<3

(P.S. For those of you that have tumblr, I started an account there to post random pictures and quotes of things I love and things I make. You can find me at http://tingedwords.tumblr.com/)

Inner Princess

2011-03-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

Pastel Princess

I feel like its become habit for me to admit to falling behind on this blog. To be honest, most of the time I forget that I have it. At least I haven't forgotten how to be creative! In fact, I think my inner girly girl has come out to play lately since I seem to be in love with faux pearls, pink and lace.

And to make matters worse (or better depending on who you ask) I decided to play with tulle the other day to see if I could make a puffy, slightly tattered skirt befitting a ballerina.

(Don't worry, despite looks its not completely see through, there is a silk underskirt that comes to about mid-thigh. But I do want to make a lace overskirt for the whole thing... I think it would be pretty.... Also! please excuse my tummy, I was going to crop that out but now it seems like my photoshop has decided to quit working on me!)

Alright! Off to go finish my tea and do some work.

Next post: Try to remember to blog about all the tournaments I've been attending lately (Though I've deemed to give myself the roll as photographer instead of competitor. I'll leave the fighting to my dear husband who is actually good at it). In the mean time, have an amazing 'martial arts' type video.

Miss Christabel

2011-02-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

One of my closest friends lives a continent and an ocean away from me. It is strange really, since we have never actually met in person, but we get each other pretty well and we write each other letters on a regular basis. She sends me the most gorgeous sketches in the mail, and other little presents, its so amazing. Maybe one day I will post some of them to show you.

We both love photography and makeup, and art and the same sorts of music so it's a blast to do video chats or just talk in general. Then this week we decided that even though we are so far apart and can't actually do a photoshoot together like we would love to, we'd improvise.

This is what we came up with:

It was actually pretty difficult to get the pictures to match since she has a flash gun and I was having major difficulties getting my lighting proper. But in the end I think it looks something along the lines of a slightly creepy/sad painting and I like it.

And here is one of just me. First time I have ever tried wearing black lipstick! To be honest, its one of the first times I've ever done 'gothic' makeup at all.

I love experimenting with styles so much!

Makeup Is Art

2011-02-05T22:39:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I finally went and bought my copy of "Makeup is Art". My sister showed me this book online a few months back, but it wasn't released here (in Canada) until this month. It is GORGEOUS. I absolutely adore it and of course since I got the book I had to do my makeup today.

The book is amazing though, it is really informative and deals with a variety of different styles. Everything from conceptual, editorial, beauty spreads, etc. It also gives you lists of supplies and what brushes are meant to be used for what, the pros and cons of things, etc.

I would seriously suggest it for anyone who enjoys makeup and looks at it as an art form (much like I do). Plus I went to get it at Chapters and it was 50% off! Only $11.00 for the book, and its hardcover and gorgeous.

Inspirations

2011-01-31T15:38:00.001-07:00

I realize this is probably a strange source of inspiration, but one of my favorite inspirations, makeup wise, is the guitarist Hitsugi, from the Japanese visual-kei band, Nightmare. He nearly always has a bit of a frightening look to him, partially due to the contacts he wears, and due to his piercings and makeup, but it is always unique.

A bit frightening right? But somehow I think beautiful too.

'A Dress to Remember'

2011-01-30T18:24:00.002-07:00

I had so much fun today! About a week ago, a girl from my etsy team (Bonnie from Bonton Vintage ) asked me if I wanted to model for fun at the A Dress to Remember Vintage event at Art Central. I thought it sounded like fun and so I agreed and it was blast.

I ended up wearing this... well honestly I don't know what to call it and I don't have a picture yet to show you, but it was brown hotpants with gold sequins under a see through brown chiffon skirt that split up the front, all attached to a beige chiffon halter almost style top. It sounds strange I know, and it was, but in a totally unique and awesome way. I think I rocked it. It was a lot of fun and I got a ton of compliments on it.

My hair was done by Krista Dee from Krista Dee Rockin' Retro Hair and Makeup and it looks positively amazing. She did an awesome job.

(Sorry for the lack of a better picture!)

I ended up taking a few photos with my phone though since I didn't want to haul my camera to the event. So here you go.

(Necklace by Patina Design Works)

There were so many fun and gorgeous pieces that I could have spent an utter fortune there. Instead I just walked about with a pretty pink silk scarf, white gloves, rhinestone buttons and gold shoes.

I'll post more pictures when Bonnie sends me some of my actual outfit!

Afraid to Be

2011-01-25T14:35:00.001-07:00

I think one of the hardest things in life is finding the courage to move forward and be who you want to be.

Even harder is finding the self confidence in yourself that you are good enough to be who you want to be.

I'm not there yet.

But I'd like to be.

I've stated over the past few years that I know I am a bit odd, that I like who I am. But its not always true. Nevertheless I stick to the belief that I would rather be ME than anyone else. I just wish I was a bit MORE than just ME. That ME had a bit more drive, a bit more substance.

I'm trying to find it.

I'm not there yet.

But I'm working on it.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-02T16:44:00.000-07:00

I spent the last few days creating things and trying out new ideas.

First off, since I've always had a love of things like costume jewellery, I thought that I would make some earrings along the effect with old buttons and cufflinks. I ended up making about four sets as well as a brooch.

Next came a hair clip. I'm actually pretty happy with how it turned it, its pretty and feminine.

Then a crazy hair clip that is wild and fun.

And finally an vintage looking necklace made out of a vintage brooch and buttons and a thick chain.

Taking a week off work was well worth it, I'd say! Plus all the other things I've made and been posting. PHEW. Its been a creative splurge! I am content.

New Years Resolution: Make more things!

Tis the Season

2010-12-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

Once Again I seem to have fallen behind on this whole posting thing haven't I?!

In my defense, December is always a rather busy month! Birthdays and Christmas Parties and all that jazz. Sadly being exceptionally busy every weekend, and having been sick for the last week with a cold, my creativity has taken a small vacation. I did however, manage to make the following piece which I am quite proud of since it took some imagination to get it to all work and stay together.

Film Noir

Other than that, I would just like to say I love the Christmas Season. Here are a few things I love about it...

- Crisp fresh mornings with the sunrise peaking over the buildings on my drive to work

- Getting letters and Cards in the mail (I love snail mail don't you?)

- Writing letters and adding little gifts

- Dressing up and going to Christmas Parties

- Eggnog

- Mandarin Oranges

- Chocolate

- Snuggling inside where its warm with a cup of tea or hot chocolate

- Curling up on the couch with my husband and nerding it out watching episode after episode of Stargate SG-1 (I love him for putting up with me and my silly loves)

- Freshly fallen snow

Those are just a few things! Sometimes I think I hate winter because I dislike the cold. But then I remember how beautiful snow is, and how nice it is to snuggle up inside and just spend time with loved ones.

And on that note, since its only 10 days until Christmas.

I wish you all a very happy holiday!

Red, Green and White

2010-12-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

'Red White and Green' by Tinged

Sending a little traditional Christmas Spirit your way...

Living Terrarium Ornament, ... WarmCountryMea... $15.00	Cranberry Drop . Earrings TheMegShop $18.00	Sweet Little Christmas Tree CherubinoCraft... $18.50
Moss Terrarium - Christmas D... Greenbriar $28.00	Christmas Buy One Get One Fr... Raceytay $45.00	long peridot briolettes earr... Splurge $28.00
Coffee Cup Cozy - Red Patter... BarefootTams $7.00	Green Striped Wool LADIES SO... DesignProjects $19.00	Hand-crochet vitamin frilly ... Ayca $42.00
Cranberry Frost - Wool Felt ... paperdollacces... $15.00	Leafy Halo in Evergreen . Ru... DollfaceDeVill... $13.00	Mighty Maxine the Super Monk... tweeling $30.00
Swooping Swallow Boxers luckylucystyle $23.00	6 carrot frond gift tags loo... 42things $5.00	Red Heart Personalized Origi... LoveNaturally $18.00

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It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

2010-12-03T09:50:00.002-07:00

I've felt rather spoiled lately. First a trip to Hawaii and then my husband's work had an overnight Christmas Party at Emerald Lake Lodge which was utterly GORGEOUS! It was so crisp and beautiful out there. A far cry from hot and sunny Hawaii but just as amazing and enjoyable (yes this is me admitting to maybe liking the cold for once).

If there is anything that makes me sure there is a Creator, is nature. Nothing as beautiful as our world could have happened by chance.

I also got a lovely tripod for my camera from my husband for my 25th birthday this week. December is such a full month. My birthday, my sister's birthday, Christmas, my wedding anniversary (6 years already!) and New Years. Tonight I shall set up my Christmas tree I think.

And after that, actually pay attention to my shop which has sadly been neglected with how busy I have been. I solemnly swear right now to do better! And make things!

The Hawaii Extravaganza

2010-11-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

Ahh where to start. Stories?! Pictures?! Its all a big jumble in my head though, so many stories, so much money spent (isn't that what vacations are for) and even though I wrote a vague sort of journal I still wonder if I can get this down.

The best place I suppose, is the beginning, or at least, the first full day in Hawaii...

November 11, 2010

Due to the time change I woke up at 5:30am. Ridiculous. Mike and I got up anyway though since it was light out and paid for a ridiculously expensive buffet at the hotel restaurant. Then of course, WENT EXPLORING! This is what you do on vacation. Go exploring. That is my theory anyway. There was a farmers market and we saw sea turtles and ate shaved ice and did silly things, taking pictures and such. Found this place called 'Boston Basil' that serves Pizza and a Pop/Beer for $5 from 11am-5pm so that ended up being our lunch spot for the rest of vacation since the Pizza was AMAZING!

Honestly, I don't know what else we did other than wander a lot and spend the night sitting at the pool listening to this performer named Lindsey Lindsey who sung Hawaiian tunes mingled with good ol' classics.

November 12, 2010

Our Dives for the morning got canceled which sucked because I was really looking forward to them (though in all honesty it ended up being a blessing in disguise which you will understand when I get to it).

Instead we went Parasailing as I mentioned before!Mike was really silly for the pictures, it was pretty hilarious. We posed a lot. Or rather he did, I clung on for dear life and for the fear of getting sick due to motion sickness. I really detest my stomach. But it was still pretty incredible, the view, the fact that even though I am afraid of heights I still went and did it. I am proud of myself for that!

So after that we wandered a bit more then it was time to go on our night dive. I took a ton of gravol because I know I get sea sick and was already feeling sick but I managed to STILL get sick. The actual boat ride wasn't too bad, it was about a 40 minute trip and the boat was pretty big and I stood at the front and let the sun set around me which was gorgeous. But it was when the boat STOPPED that I started to get sick as it rolled with the waves. By the time the dive masters finished their briefing I was positively green and said, "I AM GETTING MY GEAR ON AND GETTING IN THE WATER NOW!" So I did.

THE ACTUAL DIVE THOUGH! SO AMAZING. There was only one Manta that showed up, a female affectionately named Kiley by the divers around there, and she is about 6 ft across. So small for a female (Big Bertha, who didn't show up but does from time to time, is 16ft across!!!) and she just did loops and circles around us, grazing our masks and flipping and her mouth was HUGE and it was scary and exhilarating and amazing and I don't have pictures because I forgot my camera on the boat since I was so sick. BUT REALLY! If you ever have a chance.... go.... it was so cool. Of course I puked everywhere when I got to surface and had to be like hauled onto the boat and then puked more over the edge and then curled in a little ball and tried to disappear.

We did order a video of our dive though, so hopefully that will show up in a few weeks time.

November 13, 2010

So I was supposed to go on two dives in the morning, but I opted out and Mike went on his own because I was dehydrated and still dizzy from being sick the night before. I was really sad too because he saw dolphins and sea turtles and eagle rays and eels and D:! JEALOUS! LOL Instead I sat by the pool and worked on my tan

Mike picked up our sweet car after his dives and while we were supposed to get an economy car, the lady was too lazy to walk around to the other parking lot, so she gave Mike a 2010 Dodge Charger instead for the same price! It made driving very enjoyable.

Since we had a vehicle, we drove down south to the Place of Refuge that night, which was a city during King Kamehameha's rule that anyone could go to for refuge and they couldn't be touched there. Something akin to the Catholic Church of old.

November 14, 2010

Our day was a traveling day. We drove to Hilo to visit my friend Mika and see the East side of the Island. It was pouring rain over there but we had a blast visiting all the touristy type sights on the way, like all the gorgeous waterfalls and small coves with crashing waves. I took a ton of pictures...

(Click Thumbnails To Make Bigger)

Basically we scrambled over rocks in the rain, ate amazing food, went to botanical gardens and got lost in a hedge maze, went to a candy shoppe and drank tea to warm up. Then Mike and I left Mika to drive home in the rain.

November 15, 2010

We drove up to Kekaha Kai State Park on this HORRIBLE tiny road over the lava beds and our beefy car made it! There, we played for hours in the waves, watching surfers and getting water logged and scraped up on the rocks. It was seriously so much fun and hilarious. I think the other people there thought we must have the minds of children.

This was pretty much right before I got completely rocked by the waves and tossed about.

After that we went back to the hotel and went snorkling in the bay and saw some weird fish and had fun with our underwater camera until we got cold and moved our play to the hotel pool and hot tub.

November 16, 2010

VOLCANO DAY!

(Click Thumbnails To Make Bigger)

So we first hiked the rim of the old crater before crossing the crater and coming back up the other side. It was slightly disconserting I am not going to lie, especially the steam vents in the middle from water that trickles down during the rain and gets heated up far under ground.

From there we went to hike the old lava tubes which were pretty incredible. Apparently it is the longest chain of lava tubes in the world. We only explored a tiny, lit piece of it though. After that we went off to go see the active volcano which you could see from the crater we were crossing. We never did get to see any actual lava though, it had wiped out one of the roads to go see it so the only way was by boat of helicopter safely... and that was really expensive. Still, the smoke smelled like sulphur and it was pretty incredible to witness.

After that we went to Punalu'u Black Sand Beach which was phenomenal because it really was just a long stretch of black sand. You couldn't even walk on it on barefeet because it got too hot. But even cooler were the sea turtles that bask themselves on the sand.

We went to Ka Lae (South Point) after that, its the southern most point of the Island, and we were going to go to the Green Sand Beach, but we got there too late and it was a 45minute hike and we wouldn't have been able to see it in the light anyway. Sadly.

November 17, 2010

Last day in Hawaii. We wandered about for a bit and found this jewellery shop that you got to crack your own oyster shell open and were guaranteed at least one pearl. I wasn't going to do it, but then the lady gave me a basket of coupons to pick from and I got a 50% off coupon which made it only $7 so I thought why not?! In the end though it was worth it because the oyster I picked had two black pearls in it, the rarest kind. The lady actually looked really stunned. So I got them set in a pair of silver earrings that are really pretty.

After that it was off to the Tattoo Shop so I could get my tattoo done. I was there several times that week actually, working on the design with the artist and booking the appointment and such. It only took just under two hours and we watched Harry Potter while he did it. It was good, didn't hurt near as badly as my other one did.

Really honestly, after that we just wandered some more and read books on the grass by the beach and it was nice, relaxing. Our flight didn't leave until 9:45pm so we had all day to ourselves.

I am sure I missed a ton of amazing things and this is really random and probably boring but here you go. This was my trip in semi long form with lots of photos. Maybe Mike can fill in the holes. There are of course, more photos on my facebook, along with the names of the places.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T15:45:00.003-06:00

I really like to get dressed up. I am sure most of you know that already, but since it is Halloween it is one time I can do it and not have people look at me strangely for it.

My favorite part of my costume was my makeup, it turned out really well I think so I wanted to share some pictures. I even had a girl ask me where I had gotten it done, which pleased me a great deal since I'd done it myself.

Makeup Used

No. 99 by Makeup Forever Professional Paris
Midnight by Pure Fusion Mineral Makeup
Black Cream by M.A.C.
Eyelashed by Makeup Forever Professional Paris
Stiletto Ultimate Precision Liner by Maybeline New York
Duo Eyelash Adhesive (Used for eyelashes and feathers)
Feathers and Jewels from Michaels Craft Store

P.S. I had no 'real' costume, so I went as 'Red Winged Blackbird' as an excuse to do red and black makeup with feathers.

Red Lace

2010-10-28T09:16:00.001-06:00

Okay so there is a story about the above photos. A story of utter fail (welcome to my life).

I was bored and wanted to do red makeup, I couldn't seem to make a necklace but wanted to do something creative anyway so makeup it was. It was all going well too, until I decided to put on fake lashes.

Now before I go on, let me tell you, I put fake eyelashes on all the time, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that my hands were full with eyelashes on one side, fiddling with the lamp so I had better light on the other, and needed to put the little glass vial of glue somewhere.

Right.

PUTTING IT IN YOUR MOUTH IS A GREAT IDEA RIGHT?! It was closed....

Unfortunately it shattered.

LET ME TELL YOU! EYELASH GLUE DOES NOT TASTE GOOD! And for the rest of the night my lips kept on sticking together. Thankfully I didn't cut myself?!

FAILURE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS....

Needless to say, I didn't get the eyelashes on.

Feathers and Down

2010-10-22T08:19:00.005-06:00

I haven't posted anything writing wise on here in a while. I found something that I wrote months ago that is once again bordering on 'dark' and contains some 'language' and mentions of sex, but I like it anyway. Don't read any further if that sort of thing in writing offends you.

It was interesting to write though, based off of two things, the following quote;

And I've seen what you make for money and I've seen what you do for fame. I've seen what you do to make people like you and I've seen what you swallow to ease the pain. I've heard what you say out of malice and I've heard what you spat out of spite.

But none of these things make you happy because not one was done for love.

-www.pleasefindthis.blogspot.com

and the song Feathers and Down by the Cardigans.

Although I did a bit of a roll reversal...

Another ringing insult, another persuasive purr. She was drunk again, cold beer slipping down a welcoming throat and coating veins with intoxicating poison. Wrinkling his nose, he stood up, throwing some bills on the table and muttering, "I'll catch you later, guys." He was sick of watching the other slowly throw her dreams away like the empty beer bottles that littered the table, tossed in the recycling and crushed into nothing.

Their friends waved, lifting their glasses in a salute. She was too busy downing another to notice. A different night, not too long ago, he would have stayed until the bitter end, stuck around until it was just him and her in one apartment or another, sweat slicked back pressed into cotton sheets, needy lips and groping fingers, the scent of alcohol far too strong to lend reasonable thought.

That was when he was still naively enamored with a bright teasing laugh, low sensual whispers that enticed. Before he saw just how many were subjected to wandering fingers and soft beguiling eyes. Then he was forced to label himself an unwitting fool, led so easily astray, as innocence was ground under a booted foot like a cigarette butt, the addiction burned up and the rest just a clogged up filter full of filth.

She had wanted the world and sold her soul to get it, there were too many willing to exchange sex for a recommendation. And somewhere along the way she forgot about her heart. It was hidden beneath the metal perforating skin, behind ink and blatant teasing, cigarette smoke and meaningless nights, locked tight with the key rusted away to nothing. And with that came self disgust, drowned and strangled with alcohol as she turned to liquid to hide the pain.

It was so damn hard to watch. Because he was still an enamored fool and that was what made him leave early on the first night they'd hung out in months. Because it hurt to know he could stay and end up back in her arms. He was sure of that much, just as he was sure it would mean more to him than to her. He could stick around again and wake up with a tear stained chest, sweat dried and flaked, sobs breaking free of the gulps that tried to force them down. He could offer his arms but he'd simply be told it was okay and that the tears were simply from a headache, he'd be told to let go when he was the one being clung to. Then some semblance of calm would be gained and once more he'd be pushed away, the key in his fingers not quite the right fit yet again.

He didn't have the heart to try again tonight. Maybe next time, when his chest didn't feel so bruised and battered just seeing her again and knowing that she hadn't changed. Next time. Why did that feel so heartless?

Standing on the curb he rolled the cigarette in his fingers before drawing it to his lips and lighting it up, sinking down and staring at the wheels of passing cars going round and round, like the circles in his head, like the pain in his heart. Shiny hubcaps and glittery piercings.

He was still sitting there when she stumbled out, plunking down onto the curb beside him, arms slinging across his shoulders, breath stinking like beer and wafting over his face. “I was wondering where you went to,” friendly banter, nothing more.

He winced, bitterness in his eyes and he looked down to hide it. “What do you want?” There was no hiding the acrid in his tone.

The hand around his shoulders slowly slipped away and the roar of traffic and music wafting out from the bar were the only sounds for a while. Then there was the click, click of her lighter and the pungent smell of a cigarette, a different brand than his own, filling his nostrils, hiding the scent of booze. “I missed you,” the words were barely whispered, unexpectedly puffed out with smoke that disappeared into the night air, insubstantial, pollution.

Giving a disbelieving snort, he muttered, “Missed me? Or missed fucking me. What? Have all your other boy toys up and left too?” Cruel words meant to cut past the pretty mask to the flesh underneath and he felt her flinch, guilt searing his chest even as hurt pride congratulated himself for saying what he meant for once.

"I-" another breath, even softer than the last, but weightier, thicker smoke. “I… no one else ever stays until morning.” Everyone but you leaves as soon as they are done with me.

The confession stung to hear, more than he wanted it to. He choked the pain in his gut down. “I can’t do this,” he finally turned to look her in the face and saw dark eyes a little more worn with every day, a little sadder, a little more tired. “You're drowning me in your world of grey.” All grey and silver, dull matte interjected with shimmering flashes, just enough to make him want to stay.

Looking away he gestured at the bar behind them and whispered, “You think this is all you have. That no one will love you if you are sober, if you don’t offer yourself up to the fucking world.” The cigarette was back in his lips, inhaling toxins that would kill him slowly, it didn’t matter, around her he felt like he was suffocating anyway.

She shivered beside him and bit her lip, fingers tracing the grimy lines under her shoes, eyes blurred. “How can you be so sure they won't leave?” Insecurity, hidden with the laugh that followed it. "Besides, what's wrong with how I am now? You used to think I was fun."

'I used to, until I realized I love you, he wanted to respond. Instead he simply muttered, "You've never tried."

"It's all I know. We can't all be bright like you," the tone would be mocking if it didn't sound so damn wistful.

He had never felt darker. Closing his eyes he ran a hand over the back of his neck before he stood up and mumbled, “Come on, you aren’t drinking anymore tonight.” It was stupid, he should just leave and not bother, but he was always the fool wasn’t he? What was one more night of pain?

*

Fingers pulled at his clothes and he batted them away, tried to ignore the body draped over his back as he made tea. It felt good, the fingers sliding over the bare skin of his belly under his shirt, the lips on his neck, teeth scraping, warm body invading personal space. Taking a breath he prayed for patience and strength as he whispered, “Stop, please. Not right now.”

“Why not?” A chin propped up on his shoulder and the hands on his belly slid lower making His breath catch. “You want it.” You want me, everyone wants my body, One palm slipped lower.

“Stop!” His hands slammed down on the counter, upsetting one mug and spilling boiling liquid over calloused fingertips, burning even as he swore and jerked away, stuffing injured digits into his mouth.

She pulled away reluctantly, lips drawn into a pout as she looked down at the floor and muttered, “Sorry.” Somehow rejection stung more than she anticipated. He’d never turned her down before, he was the only one that stuck around.

He gave a bitter sob, sliding to the floor; head resting against the cupboard doors, eyes squeezed shut. “You just don’t get it, do you?” He did want her, he wanted to spend every damn day wrapped up in her embrace but it didn’t work that way and if he gave in now, tomorrow would just be worse. He'd hate himself more.

“You come here because I don’t leave, but you never think about why I might stay. You take and take and take but you don’t think that maybe there's a reason why I let you. You're selfish, so selfish and I still follow you like some damn puppy, too stupid to know its master is slowly killing him. I meant what I said, I’m drowning here. This,” he gestured at the empty space between them, “it's suffocating me with nothingness."

Opening his eyelids he looked through his lashes at the perplexed and scared look that was slowly taking over her features. She was still drunk, but even wasted out of her mind she looked genuinely upset. It wasn’t a common look on her, seduction suited her better, and he almost told her he was joking just to wipe away the look of real emotion from her cold face. It was easier if he thought she had no feelings left. Instead he just laughed lowly and muttered, “Just go.”

But she didn’t leave. She crouched down next to him and, heedless of the tea quickly cooling and dripping from the counter, she gathered his injured hand in hers and looked at it sadly, gently stroking his palm and avoiding the blisters forming.

“I-” she paused, sighing softly in the quiet that was left, sticky heavy silence that clung to the room and her conscience in ways she didn’t understand. She never understood anything around him, too much innocence and light that were slowly leaking away no matter how hard she tried to catch it. It slipped through her fingers with every touch to bare skin, milky smoothness fading somehow, or maybe that was just the brightness of dark brown eyes dimming as they looked down at her. “Why,” why? Why what? She didn’t know, only knew that she’d never asked before. Why did he stay when everyone else abandoned her, why did his eyes look so accusing whenever she tried to push away, stop herself from clinging too tight, not wanting to strangle more life from his lips.

But he only stared at her, bitter twist of lips as fingers pulled free and, ignoring the sting of red skin, pressed fingertips to cheeks, leaning up to kiss her slowly, lingering sweetness with a sour aftertaste. “That’s the kicker isn’t it? You’ve never seen it. Your own heart is all locked up and you threw away the key, now you can't even recognize what feeling is.”

He stood up, moving to the freezer to grab some ice, then slowly shuffled out the room, pausing only once to whisper, “You are free to stay, but we aren’t fucking tonight.” It wasn’t said, it didn’t need to be, but the words that should have followed lingered in the air all the same, whispering in her ears, toying with her mind, ’If you leave I won’t offer my arms again.’

*

Left kneeling alone on the hard floor, bone digging into linoleum, she stared at the puddle of tea slowly forming, drip, drip, drip,and tried to gather her thoughts. She needed another smoke and with trembling fingers she pulled it out, smoke curling as she lit it and slid completely to the floor, shirt soaking up tea and watching wisps of grey dance in the stale air, looking for an answer in their toxins. Life was easy when she just had to get on her knees, look up through lashes and brush damp lips against salty skin. It never took much to grasp her dreams, coy looks and a willing body, alcohol to hide the stains imprinted on her soul, cigarettes to chase away the shadows with their warm glow and nerve soothing tang.

Here however, cold floor under her limp body, it wasn't so simple. She could hear the sound of splashing water from the bathroom, the tap turning on and off, the rustle of clothes thrown in the hamper, then padding feet towards the bedroom. Off to bed, warmth and comfort, feather duvet and down pillows. Closing her eyes she could imagine large limbs arranging themselves in a tight ball, frustrated eyes staring at the far wall. He was different.

At first he had seemed the same, laughing eyes, bright and sharp and all too eager to please. In some sick twisted way he had reminded her of a younger version of herself, dreams clung to as tight as fingers grasped strings on an instrument. And just like her idols had done, she was reveling in the attention, curling someone around her finger instead of being the one molded into positions. But she had loved the attention; competition and wandering fingers only a challenge to be the most liked. He saw licking lips and sex as betrayal because, unlike her, in the end he still remembered what his dreams were.

Your own heart is all locked up and you threw away the key, now you can't even recognize what feeling is. Feeling was pain, dreams fulfilled only to see the emptiness of a stage when all the audience saw was a facade, a second skin that fit so tight the original was shriveling without air to breathe. It was easier to simply not feel, bury it deep under the layers of grime and dirt coating her soul.

She wasn't sure when she first started to wake up with cheeks wet with tears, her heart trying to purge the aching while she slept, the only time its walls weren't firmly in place. But she still remembered the first time she had woken up with large fingers wiping them away. Terror curled along her spine and lies spun inelegantly from her lips. Headaches, hangovers, handy excuses to slip away and rebuild her shell. Strangely he let her cry, didn't judge, just accepted. Why was it that, in a world where masks were encouraged, she'd found someone who wanted her free of all the makeup she hid under? It didn't seem fair.

The sting of heat on her fingers broke her from her thoughts and with a curse she realized her cigarette had burnt down to the filter. Struggling to her feet, she put it out in the sink. Where did she go from here? Did she leave, be what the world asked her to be, unattached, a free fantasy to lust after, nothing more than the pretty face she'd been for years. Or did she let herself sink into a feathery bed, and cry in a wide embrace.

*

He heard the shift and fall of clothes, felt the bed dip, warm body curling around his and lips breathing. He didn't say anything and neither did she, not even as the he turned, cheek lying pillowed on a bare chest, ear pressed against ribs caging a beating heart. It was there, steadily thumping, and with a soft sigh he pressed a kiss to jumping skin. All he had to do was convince her of that. But she was there wasn't she? In bed even though more wasn't an option.

Small hands pulled him up, lips meeting his lightly and as he cupped her cheeks, to push her away, or to pull her closer, he felt tears slide over his fingers, wet and warm. He breathed out, leaning in for another kiss, even softer, one to her nose, another to her forehead. He was giving in again, he always did, but maybe this time he wouldn't fall so hard.

A shudder sob left the other's lips and he pulled her close, skin against skin, heads sharing the same pillow, breathing the same air. "I-" she stuttered, trying to spit it out, admit vulnerability. "It hurts -" she could pass it off like she always did, a headache, nothing more. Instead she finished with, "- my chest." She took her hand, peeling it from damp cheeks, and shifted it down to her heart. "Here."

This time, it seemed that his key might fit.

Understanding

2010-10-19T13:25:00.001-06:00

Do you ever wish you could go back to being a child? When things were simple and it was easy to have faith in people? I want to still be like that, and perhaps sometimes I am still naive because there are times I am still shocked by the hate and judgments of those around me.

Most of the time I simply don't understand.

I don't understand judging people and hating them because they have a different faith.
I don't understand judging people and hating them because they love someone of the same gender.
I don't understand judging people and hating them because they were born of a different race.
I don't understand judging people and hating them because they don't fit society's perception of normal.
I don't understand judging people and hating them because they aren't classically beautiful.

Then I realize that most of the time I realize I am just as guilty as everyone else.

I want to change that.

Tomorrow I am wearing purple for Spirit Day.

Spirit Day honors the teenagers who had taken their own lives in recent weeks. But just as importantly, it's also a way to show the hundreds of thousands of LGBT youth who face the same pressures and bullying, that there is a vast community of people who support them.
- http://www.mountainx.com/blogwire/2010/wear_purple_tomorrow_for_spirit_day

I know its not a lot. But its something I can do.

Makeup Tutorial - Natural Look

2010-10-08T13:31:00.002-06:00

Last month I did a makeup tutorial with the plans of creating a nice simple everyday look... then promptly decided that bright purple was more fun. This time, I actually managed to keep it pretty and simple. So here you are, a 'Natural Look' type of tutorial.

I started off at the eyes this time. Since my last one I showed everything, you can go HERE for the first few steps.

Step One: Paint

Say what? Paint? Let me explain. I call it paint because I use MAC Bare Canvas Paint. What it really is, is an eyeshadow primer. You know how makeup creases due to oil and sweat and well, really just blinking, during the day? Paint helps prevent that. Makes the makeup 'stick' better so to speak.

Normally I don't use it because I use high quality makeup and therefore I don't need it. But I thought it would be a good idea to include in a tutorial because it is a handy product to have. I think I even mentioned it in my last tutorial, but since I didn't have any at the time I could demonstrate it. This time however, I went out and bought some (Word of Advice: Don't try to go to the mall when you are on crutches the first weekend the new expansion is complete. Mayhem!!) and so without further ado...

Put a little dollop on your finger (the amount I put on my finger in the picture is plenty for both eyes) and evenly smear over both eyelids, from corner to corner, and up to the brow line, even under the eye. Basically anywhere you are going to have eyeshadow. Give it a few seconds to dry and onto the next step.

Step Two: Blending/Crease

I have no idea why I am even naming steps things since blending/crease doesn't really fit.... anyway. Here is where I give the eye a bit more depth. I chose a color darker than my skin tone but still light, a sort of peachy brown tan (Danae by Pure Fusion) and spread it from the outside corner of my eye, up towards my brow line (but not all the way up to my eyebrow, leave a small gap for your highlighter that comes later) and along the crease towards the inner corner, but not on the main lid, using a rounded brush.

Here, pictures are easier to explain,

Make Sense?

Step Three: Shading

Taking a darker color, I used the same brush to apply shadow in just the outer corner and a bit up into the crease. This just adds a bit more depth. I used Vesta by Pure Fusion.

Note: See the bit of shadow that dropped onto my cheek? Instead of trying to wipe that away with your fingers, use a large clean brush (say one used for applying powder foundation) and gently dust the excess shadow away with that. It will help prevent it from streaking and getting pressed into your skin

Step Four: Eyeliner

For this look I lined the entire eye, but only very lightly. Like my previous tutorial, I still put the eyeliner right up as close as I can get, but I didn't put it on as darkly since I want the look to be natural. You can also go without the eyeliner, my preference is just to wear it.

Step Five: Blending the Eyeliner

Another option is to use a brown eyeliner, but since I don't actually have one since I never use it, I blended the black liner with brown shadow after so it wasn't as bold.

To do this I took my flat angled brush and wet it. Dipping it in the same shadow used in the step above (Vesta for me) I applied that on top of the black, softening it.

Step Six: Highlighter

Using a pale shadow (white or cream) apply a small amount in the inside corner of your eye and as well as up along your brow line. I used a small angled dry brush and lightly dusted it on. This step just helps brighten up the eye.

I used 'Bare it All' by Pure Fusion Mineral Makeup.

Step Seven: Mascara

I curl my lashes first, making my eyelashes more noticeable. For Mascara I use Maybeline XXL Pro Curl.

And that's it!

I think I probably went into better detail on my last tutorial, but I hope this one was just as helpful.

FINISHED PRODUCT!

Whispered Wishes

2010-10-07T14:29:00.000-06:00

'Whispered Wishes' by Tinged

lets get lost on memory lane, whisper wishes to clouds and eat sweet cake

LETITIA - made to order - pa... RiRiFisch $30.00	Elope Dress sarahseven $755.00	Sweet Memories 8 x 8 Print LolasRoom $25.00
Sweets...5x7 Original Signed... alicebgardens $12.00	FREE SHIPPING --- SALE --- ... FunkyBlink $95.00	Pastel Grays handmade paper,... graceleeboutiq... $16.25
Opulent Spring Vintage lace ... LaCamelot $68.00	Cameo Pendant - Profile of ... asecondtime $40.00	Elegant Stylish Bridal White... bridalday $999.00
Wolf, Hare and Hedgehog Teap... liannemellor $55.00	WHiMSiCaL FaiRy TeA PaRTy DI... LandofEnchantm... $4.98	Tea Party Ring BigBisous $14.00
1950s vintage tea rose pink ... allencompanyin... $288.00	RAGDOLL ISABELLA STATEMENT N... KatherineCoope... $220.00	Medium Embellished Zipper Po... handmadetherap... $12.00

Generated using Treasury HTML code generator by Whale Shark Websites.

Wishlist

2010-10-06T11:23:00.000-06:00

Ahh... this is early. But I generally tend to forget what I wanted when my birthday/Christmas rolls around and people ask me what I want.

Most of this list is absolute ridiculousness that I am being silly posting but they look really cute/comfy and.... expensive. IGNORE ME AND MY DREAMING FOR PRETTY THINGS PLEASE!

TOPSHOP Thigh High Socks

Junkfood Carebears Tanktop

Alice Nine Flashlight Tour Hoodie and/or Tanktop

(Welcome to the sparkliness of one of my favorite bands.... sadly since this is a tour goods item my chances of ever acquiring are pretty limited)

MORE

- Leather Jacket

- Complete Stargate Series (SG-1, Atlantis, Universe) on DVD

- Wool fingerless gloves (There are lots on etsy... I should find some I like)
- A tripod
- A flash for my camera
- A tablet
- A trip to London (see, ridiculous things)
- A trip to Japan (even more ridiculous)
- All the supplies and know how to make all the clothes and jewellery I could ever want. (While we are at the ridiculous stage I just thought I would throw that out there)
- New corset

I'll add more to the list as I find things.... in fact, I feel kinda selfish/materialistic even posting this... but oh well.

Feathers and Fae

2010-10-06T09:10:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I wish I lived in a Fairytale. It doesn't need to be perfect, it can have its dark aspects and its hard times, but I wish magic existed. I wish I could spend all day exploring and dancing and being outside.

I had a dream about a steampunk world the other day, with flying machines with great big leathery wings and metal cogs. There were spies too, scuttling along alleys and trying to find me while I snapped pictures of broken buildings and strange metal creatures. It was gorgeous and frightening and I didn't want to wake up.

It makes me want to write fantasy. I miss writing fantasy. I wrote a novel once. With winged creatures and shape shifters, elementalists and magic. It was bloody and dark and one of the first things I ever wrote but I was proud of it. It makes me want to try again. Write more.

In the mean time, I made this in the spirit of Magic and Fae Forests....

Fairytale

My head is full of dreams.

Some are scary, but the thought of existing without imagination is far more frightening.

Dance in the woods

What will you find

Feather and Fae

and secrets in kind

Broken Bones

2010-10-01T08:05:00.000-06:00

So, I fractured my ankle last week Monday.
To be honest it was all rather silly and at first I just thought it was a little sprain and didn't think much of it.

Tuesday it was swollen huge and I went to get X-rays done. They told me I probably mildly tore a ligament.

Wednesday they called me back to say the radiologist thought he saw a fracture and I needed to go get an aircast and come back again in a week for more X-rays. But I was still allowed to walk on it.

Last night I went back in for those X-rays. And was told it is a definite fracture and I need to stay off of it (read: crutches) for three weeks...

At this rate... I am going to go back in three weeks and they are going to tell me the foot needs to come off!

I suppose the good news is I will have more time to make things since I can't get around easy enough to do much of anything else.

Now, does anyone want to bring me Starbucks!?

Furry Fun

2010-09-30T11:34:00.003-06:00

Winter Warmth

Fur anyone?

Creative Stitches and Crafting Alive

2010-09-26T17:46:00.000-06:00

So my sister Hilda from Handmadetherapy and I went to the Creative Stitches and Alive show yesterday. She already blogged about it (You can read about it Here) but I thought I should too!

I don't really know what possessed me to think it was a good idea to get up at 7:00am on a Saturday, and then proceed to walk around all morning on a fractured ankle... but I did. And it WAS a GOOD idea. It was so much fun! I got some absolutely gorgeous fabrics that I want to play around with and see what I can make, as well as a good deal of pretty beads for a super bargain!

Here are some pictures of our adventures...

(Dear mom, since you couldn't come to the show, we took pictures of the quilts for you - Love your daughters)

Being Serious

I am so excited to start making things!

Speaking of excited... in about 15 minutes the ladies from the Alberta Team should start arriving for our get together/craft night. Super excited over that too! <3

Wall Hanging

2010-09-24T20:05:00.000-06:00

I know what you are thinking.

TWO posts in ONE day? Unheard of. What a spammer.
(I think this is the most I have ever posted in a month, I really am trying to get better at this blogging thing. Though I fear I go from one extreme to another. Have patience with me.)

HOWEVER.

Remember I was asking what to do with those pink flowers? Well I came up with something. A wall hanging. I actually quite like how it turned out.

So. What do you think?

I had this black picture frame...since I got married. It was a wedding gift actually, but the glass broke. And person that I am, decided to keep the frame in case I found a reason for it one day. And I did!

I always knew there was a reason I kept random sh*t.

<3

Of Tea Parties

2010-09-24T14:44:00.000-06:00

I love tea.

I love drinking it.

I love cute tea pots

I love cute tea cups

and I love tea parties.

add to that last line... I want to have a tea party.

Source

A proper one. With gorgeous little cakes and china tea cups, lace table clothes and ruffly dresses with parasols in a cute forest clearing. One that when dusk falls I can light lanterns hanging from trees and dance barefoot in the grass while watching the stars come out one by one.

Have I mentioned I love fairy tales too? Fantasies and silly things that lets my imagination scamper wildly.

Sometimes I wonder how people could exist without imagination.
The world would be so gray if I didn't have the ability to dream up new worlds.

But I digress.
My point was...
Who wants to have a tea party with me?

P.S. This post reminded me of these ADORABLE bangles that I would buy in a heartbeat if I didn't know I would break them the first day.

Charming Vintage Bonechina Teacup Bracelets

Fabric Flowers

2010-09-22T09:47:00.000-06:00

Winter Blossoms

So the other week I decided I was going to make some fabric flowers. I'd never tried making them before but I'd read a tutorial a couple weeks prior and I thought I remembered how. So off I set, watching a movie and cutting out fabric flowers to sew together, not paying much attention to what I was doing. One movie later... I had 70 cut outs in a rather large pile. OOPS!

Thankfully I was able to make this necklace with some of them, made from some pretty linen fabric with red polka dots that handily served as centers. I am pretty happy with how it turned out.

Now however, by the time I finished sewing the rest of the fabric I'd cut out, I have about 16 bright pink flowers and a couple blue ones and some white and black ones. And my ideas on what to do with them are pretty limited! Any ideas?! They would be much appreciated.

Some of the things I could think of were;

- a mobile
- a wall hanging
- refashion a shirt

What to you think? Any better ideas?!

Makeup Tutorial

2010-09-19T00:29:00.001-06:00

So yesterday I had someone ask me if I could teach them how to do their makeup like I do mine. I've been asked that before, and honestly, I really never know how to answer that.

Sure I can try teach you...The problem is, every eye is different and I have honestly never done someone else's makeup (Unless pinning one of the guys down on Band and Choir Tour back in high school and doing his makeup counts...but I don't think so).

However. I figured that I could always do a tutorial on how I do MY makeup. Right? I think I got a bit carried away starting at the very basics, but you'll forgive me right?!

So here it goes.
(I was actually going to do a nice simple, every day look, that people could copy...but that is going to have to wait until another day because I got distracted by all the pretty colors I had and well... the final result was a bit vibrant to say the least...)

Step One: Moisturize

I know, I know, most people moisturize, I don't really need to mention it. My point here though, that if I don't put lotion on before I put on my cover-up it never quite goes on right. So. Step one is always lotion.

Step Two: Foundation

I don't really need to explain this right? Pretty straight forward.

Moving on.

Step Three: Eyebrows

Okay so this is a weird step I know, but I actually took the most pictures for it since I am a bit of a freak when it comes to eyebrows and wanting them to be perfect or else the whole look is ruined. My eyebrows...not so perfect. They are long and curly in some bits, and don't grow in others. So I improvise...

For this I use a damp, flat angled brush and a matte (non shiny) black or brown eyeshadow (depending on what color my hair is at the time!) and work on filling my brows in so that they are even with each other, have a proper arch and aren't bald in some spots (I also trim the longer curly parts on a regular basis and pluck, but that's just maintenance).

I like using a shadow instead of a liner because it blends better and doesn't look quite so obvious that I filled it in.

Step 4: The Eyes! Base Coat

I should actually have a step before this were I put on a 'paint' to help keep the shadow in place, especially since I use loose powder. But I ran out of mine a few months back and still haven't gone to get more. Thankfully the brand of eyeshadow I use (Pure Fusion Mineral Makeup) stays on really well and I haven't actually needed it.

For this look, I started with a rounded flat brush and made it wet. Dipping it into the loose shadow (Royal Nights Eyeshadow, Pure Fusion) I then spread it evenly over the main part of my eyelid from inner corner to the crease to the outer corner. Making the eyeshadow wet isn't necessary but with the colors I use it just makes them pop that little bit extra.

Step 5: Blending

Next I used a dry rounded... round.. brush (this is where I admit that I don't actually know the different names for the different brushes. I just use what works best!) and applied Plum Passion PureFusion Eyeshadow to blend/soften the edges and bring it up closer to the brow line. It just gives it a smoother appearance. (I do this for nearly every look I do and very very rarely use less than two colors)

Step 6: Highlighter

Okay so I actually forgot to take a picture here. But that pale, pale green (Green Icestorm, PureFusion Eyeshadow) I am applying under the eye with my flat brush (after I washed it) is the same color that I applied lightly over the brow bone (right under the eyebrow. It's actually a pretty important step, to use a really pale color with just a bit of shimmer usually, to sort of brighten up the eye and... well I don't know exactly how to explain what it does. I am not a professional makeup artist, but I do know it makes a difference when you are looking at it! *Insert failure at describing moment*

I applied the same color under the eye, wet, just to make my eyes a bit brighter and more open looking. Plus I just like contrasting colors. :)

Step 7: Eyeliner

Eyeliner isn't necessary but I almost always wear it just because I like how it looks.
(Okay really, I only wear makeup at all because I like how it looks...)

For this look I lined the entire eye. Yup, right up as close as I can get. Some people don't like applying liner that close to their eye because it might not be healthy, but according to all the studies I have read, as long as it an all natural, mineral eyeshadow without any of those nasty chemicals, its just fine. (And don't ask if that Estee Lauder liner is, because honestly, I have no idea. It is one of the few things I have that aren't mineral makeup of some sort....)

Step 8: Final step! Mascara!

I curl my lashes first, because while I was blessed with nice long thick lashes, they are absolutely straight. For Mascara I think I have been using Maybeline XXL Pro Curls for years... I suppose there might be better stuff out there (well there most definitely is) but this works and I am a bit of a creature of habit.

And that's it! You are done!
Or at least I am done with this haphazard tutorial. I swear I will do one with normal colors for those that wanted that (I realize most people aren't all that comfortable wearing bright purple eyeshadow on a day to day basis).

and so here it is, the (or at least my) FINISHED PRODUCT!

And now... I hope there are no spelling errors or I didn't miss anything important. But its past midnight and I have no idea why I am still awake...

I hope this was maybe helpful!?

Let me know if you liked the format at least so that when I get around to doing a more 'normal' or 'everyday' look I know what I can change or improve on.

Pumpkin Cookies

2010-09-16T21:12:00.000-06:00

Since the weather is unfortunately turning colder and I find myself turning the heat on and wrinkling my nose at the rain and cold... I try to think about the good things in Autumn.

Things like bright colors and crisp air (rain go away please) and apple cider and tea and more importantly...

PUMPKINS!
And all the wonderful things you can do with them.... like make cookies!

This is one of my all time favorite cookie recipes. Given to me by the lovely 'Miss B'. And also one the simplest.

Ingredients

1/2 cup of Sugar

1/2 cup of Brown Sugar

1 Cup of Butter

3/4 cup Pumpkin (for a double recipie use 1-14oz. can)

1 tsp Vanilla

1 Egg

2 Cups Flour

1 tsp Baking Powder

1 tsp Baking Soda

1 tsp Cinnamon

1/4 tsp Salt

3/4 cup Nuts (Optional, I never put them in)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Celsius

MIX

(Really that's all. Throw the ingredients all together in a bowl/mixer and mix away until its smooth)

Place dollops of dough on a non-greased cookie sheet and bake at 350C for 18 minutes.

FROSTING!
(because we can't forget the frosting)

3 tbsp Butter

1/2 cup of brown sugar

Boil for one minute

Add 1/4 cup of Milk

and enough icing sugar to thicken.

Drizzle on top of cooled cookies.

Now go eat up!

Little Red Dress - Tutorial

2010-09-02T22:28:00.005-06:00

Not black. Red. Because I love red.

And because when I was little we had a dress up box full of old dresses of my mom's that were from the 70's or what not. A couple months ago my mom sent me one of them because I asked for it. A nice long, shapeless red... dress....

This was it...

(Warning: This is another one of those 'Suzy-style' tutorials that mostly just fail at being a tutorial because I never do things properly or know how to describe the way I haphazardly piece things together)

Today I finally got around to refashioning it!

I started off with gathering the front and stitching it together. Just a simple hand stitch.

Next, I cut the dress roughly in half, leaving the bottom half the final length I wanted the dress to be underneath the bust area.

Now is the part, where as always, I forgot to take photos. Though really, all that is missing is me pinning the two halves back together. I sewed the part I cut off from the bottom, back onto the top just higher up, right under the white stitching on the bust. I pleated it free hand on the sewing machine and presto!

All it needed was a belt which I grabbed from the remnants of those lace curtains I used to make a skirt a few months back...

And here is the final result! I am pretty happy with it.

Goodnight!

(Two posts in one day! It must be a miracle!)

Creative Induction

2010-09-02T12:10:00.000-06:00

Surprisingly, with my husband out of town, I have been rather creative. I think its born from the desire to not be bored, so I made a whole list of projects. Things I've wanted to do, things I've been meaning to do, things I just like to do.

Here is a bit of a peek...

Leather and Lace and a piece I have yet to list (I should get to work on that!)

This one sold pretty much the day I listed it. I was so happy!

Autumn Fire my newest piece!

Now I've also been doing some other projects, things such as stitching beads onto lace tights. A rather perilous task if you are as... clumsy.... as me. I poked my leg a lot and I am still not done...

What else have I been doing... Oh! Makeup!

Does all of this excuse me for not blogging?! I have been busy!

Upcoming projects: Paint the huge canvas I have (Secretly by dad bought this canvas for me two years ago now with the promise he would send me a picture I would paint on it for him. But like I said, that was two years ago and I still haven't gotten a picture. So I am going to paint something for above my bed on it, and when he finally gets that picture to me I'll just have to go out and get a new canvas), paint 15 sheets of red paper with bamboo and put in my photo screen, make a dress, make more jewelry, paint the last two of my kitchen cupboard doors. Phew!

And... I think that's all!

Pure Fusion Mineral Makeup.

2010-08-21T14:35:00.003-06:00

I don't think I've mentioned this here, but about a month ago I started to create and model looks for Pure Fusion Makeup . I absolutely love doing it. She sends me makeup and all I need to do is play with it and take pictures of the final results.

Now, anyone who knows me, knows I love doing makeup and tend to think of it as simply another form of painting, so this experience has been positively fun.

Here are a couple of the looks I've created so far...

It really is a ton of fun and I LOVE the makeup. It stays on well, the colors are perfectly vibrant and is all 100% pure minerals made naturally from the earth without any cheap fillers, chemicals, synthetic dyes, parabens, preservatives or bismuth. (<--I took that straight from her shop announcement!)

I feel like this has turned into a bit of a sales pitch... oops. That's not the point! The point is, I love doing this. It's fun and creative.

P.S. She is out of Terrace B.C. as well, which makes it even cooler since that is just a hop over the mountains from the neck of the woods I grew up in.

Friday Favorites - Leather and Lace

2010-08-13T10:46:00.000-06:00

I've never done Friday Favorites before, but there are a couple items on etsy have fallen in love with.

February Rain Black Leather and Chain Ruff Collar by Mascherina

As Stories Go Skirt by pondhopper

Asymmetric leather Obi with Buckle by Ledthread

Can you tell that I absolutely adore both leather and lace? I think the majority of my favorites on etsy are made with those two materials, or fur.

Forest Fae

2010-08-03T19:47:00.001-06:00

I finally got to have a photoshoot with my skirt. I am pretty pleased with how it turned out, plus it was a ton of fun to see my cohort Sylvia again.

Doesn't she look lovely?

Traipsing around Nose Hill Park in four inch heels and covered in mosquitoes is even fun when in good company. Of course afterward we marching into Seven-Eleven for slurpees which was pretty fantastic after the muggy weather.

Extravagance

2010-07-19T08:14:00.001-06:00

I think I have developed a fascination for extravagance.

The skirt I created after seeing a gorgeous photo of a lace and tulle skirt online. I didn't really want to work with tulle though, but I love lace and after spending the morning thrift shopping with my sister on Saturday, I got to work making the above lace confection Sunday afternoon from re-purposed curtains . I don't have a dress form, nor have I ever made a skirt before, so I used my art easel (I had to improvise) instead. It sort of worked. Enough that I could pin on the chopped up curtains and start to sew. Most of it, minus the top hem was actually hand stitched, all the gathers at least and the green lace. It was a lot of fun to do and I really like how it turned out.

The necklace I made about a week ago. It is over the top and heavy and massive, but I sort of love it. Its crazy, quirky. I want to sell it, but at the same time I want to keep it.... oh what to do....

Button me up!

2010-07-14T12:18:00.000-06:00

I've gotten a lot of amazing buttons over the past few months from my mother in law who graciously finds them at garage sales and thrift shops for me. I use them on clothes of course, but lately I've been dying to try them out on some jewelry creations. These are the results.

It's actually a lot of fun! I am having fun experimenting.

Thoughts?!

Treasury!

2010-07-08T08:10:00.004-06:00

I was included in this amazing treasury on etsy today.

I absolutely love some of the items in it...and now my fingers are positively itching to buy things.

A little bit Wild

2010-07-04T18:03:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I'm a bit crazy. Funny little ideas in my head that are over the top and wild. Yesterday I had an idea to make a necklace....

I used about all the different types of materials I could find and ended up with this creation. I'd like to think its fun and funky and definitely unique and perhaps just a tad bit insane. I am not sure where I would ever wear it (Other than of course some photo shoot or another should the opportunity arise) , but my hope is that there is someone out there that will have a use for it.

My next project is to make up a simple light box so I can photograph things properly. Any suggestions?!

New Workspace!

2010-06-29T20:39:00.000-06:00

I went to IKEA this weekend to buy some new linens and on the way I saw a pretty little table that would fit perfectly in my office. It was cheap too (and at least decent quality).

Now, for the first time ever, I have a workspace JUST for ME.

(I am ridiculously excited about this. No more sitting on the floor!)

Look and my cute little table!

I also screwed in some hooks to my shelves to hang up all my necklaces. It is SO nice to actually have a spot to keep them from getting tangled and such.

Now to get my painting stuff up and organized....

Makeup Creations

2010-06-28T10:50:00.001-06:00

Click to Zoom

I feel a bit vain posting this, but anyone who knows me, knows that I love to play with makeup. So here is a little collection of some of the things I have done in the past. I know some of it is a bit freaky (family members please do not freak out at the neck one. It was hard to do and I do love special effects makeup).

Bubble Tea and Books, Friends and Fighters, Musicians and Memories

2010-06-22T11:38:00.002-06:00

Home again, home again. Vacation was so amazing, a complete whirlwind.

My husband (Mike) and I flew into Vancouver at 7:20am on Saturday the 12th of June. It was gorgeous weather and after a short ride on the Sky Train and a short walk we were at our destination; Brad and Souk’s house, also known as our ‘hotel’ for the week. Since it was still early and we hadn’t had much to eat, we walked with Brad to a small diner on Fraser Street that has probably been around since the 1930s for some delicious breakfast the went back ‘home’ to catch up and visit.

I ended up getting my tickets for the UFC, the guy who I bought them from nicely brought them to the area of Vancouver I was staying in and from there Mike and I headed down to the fights. I won’t bore you with talk of the fights (although they were far from boring) and just say that it was an amazing time and I enjoyed myself immensely. It was a once in a lifetime chance for me and worth the price of the tickets.

The rest of the week was a blur of activities, Sunday was spent lounging in the sun, Monday exploring all of Vancouver and going out at night, Tuesday was for watching the World Cup down on Commercial Drive with all the Brazilian fans and Wednesday was for hanging out with old friends and catching up.

Thursday was the concert. I am actually going to go into a bit of detail here because it was an amazing experience. A lot of people don’t understand my fascination with Japanese music, and I respect that, but I just love the way the Japanese language sounds. Plus I love the guitar, and Miyavi, the musician I went to see, is a fantastic guitarist.

I spent the day of the concert standing in line. Crazy right? Normally I am not the type of person to do that, but I had several friends that were going and so I went down to visit with them more than anything. It was so good to just sit and laugh on the street, meet new people and get excited together.

(Photo by Mika Chow)

I met some really wonderful girls that I pray I will get to meet again one day and in the end all the waiting paid off because we were right pressed up against the stage for the entire show, rocking our little hearts out and enjoying ourselves to the max. Definitely an experience I will never forget.

Friday was our last full day and it was spent exploring some more, wandering down to Granville Island and seeing the Emily Carr Art Institution which I think I appreciated more than Mike did, but it was fun to see. Then it was off back ‘home’ for our last night in town which we celebrated with a big barbeque. Souk loves to cook and he made the most amazing meal. I felt like I was eating a gourmet dinner… while sitting on the floor eating it with chop sticks because there were not enough forks.

Our last day we went out for breakfast again with a bunch of people this time, then it was time to go pack. A very daunting task. I am still amazed that I managed to fit everything in my suitcases, especially since on the way home from breakfast we saw this great little second hand bookstore and couldn’t resist buying… well lets just say more than just a few books.

Thankfully one of the people we met down there offered to bring us to the airport, but only after taking us for bubble tea first (I’m not sure that's an experience I am willing to repeat again) and off we went, with a short stop down at the beach in Richmond first.

All in all it was an amazing vacation. Full of good times, good people, and fun.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2010-06-11T14:19:00.002-06:00

So tomorrow morning, bright and early I am heading out of this city to go on vacation in Vancouver. I really do adore Vancouver, at least to visit, and I am super excited about the events going on while I am there.

On Thursday night I am attending a concert for a Japanese Visual-Kei artist by the name of Miyavi (pictured above). I've been a fan of his for a couple years and the chance to see him actually play live and in Canada is awesome. Especially since I didn't even pay for my ticket! I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it down to Vancouver that week when I first found out he was playing, so a friend of mine promptly said, "Oh you are going, I bought you a ticket. Now show up or I am sending someone to kidnap you."

This Saturday however is UFC 115. At first I wasn't going to go, I was having a really hard time justifying the money it costs to attend. However, a buddy at work is trying to hook me up with a couple good tickets for a decent price and I am PRAYING they go through. Anyone who knows me knows that I love Martial Arts and the UFC and the chance to go would be amazing. But time is running out and I haven't heard from the guy today yet so I am rather nervous.

But I have been watching the Ultimate Fighter this year and I really want to see these two fight! Even if Rich Franklin just coached for the last few episodes.

As for my Etsy shop, I am leaving it open, but I put up a notice saying that I won't be shipping anything until the 20th of June, after I return.

Have an awesome week, I know I will :)

-Sondake! (That's all!)

P.S. I have an awesome mother-in-law that sent me a package by bus the other day. I got it last night and its full of all sorts of beads and buttons and jewelry for me to make things out of. I am so excited! Too bad I wont have time to really look through it until I get back!

Ribbons and Lace

2010-06-07T10:13:00.002-06:00

I thought I'd try something new.

I have never been all that great at sewing. I think the most impressive thing I've ever tackled on a sewing machine was a baby quilt I made for a friend back in high school. Nevertheless, I bought a second hand machine this past year with the plan on fixing a lot of clothes and refashioning more.

Still, Fabricland was having a huge sale starting last Thursday and so when my sister called me up and asked if I wanted to accompany her I jumped at the chance (Which actually might have been more because I had a sick husband and as much as I love him he is a huge baby when he is sick). I meant to just buy beads since they were on sale too, but then I saw the lace. Lace, lace and more lace and I couldn't resist, especially not when it was on sale!

I've always wanted to try making a collar of some sort, and I think lace is positively gorgeous, so yesterday I sat down and began to sew. All things considering, I am happy with the results. I did a test run first, checking to see what would look good, and after receiving positive feedback I sat down to make a proper one (one with straight, neat stitching and proper effort). My favorite part in the end though, is probably the brass buttons. I wish I knew where they were from (My mother in law sends me buttons in the mail!) since they look vintage but I am not sure.

That's All!

P.S. It's going to be a busy week packing and cleaning the house and finding someone to take the critter for the week after. Anyone feel like babysitting a terror of a ferret? Probably not. But soon its Vancouver and going to see Miyavi play live as well as visit with friends I haven't seen since September. I can barely wait.

Changing Dreams

2010-06-03T11:58:00.002-06:00

Once upon a time there were two sisters (actually there are three but this story is only about two), completely different but sharing a dream of opening up a coffee/book shop together.

Of course, life rarely goes as planned and some dreams aren't meant to be. Instead, people change and new dreams, ones that suite you better, are born.

In this story, one sister became a super-mom, several times over, while the other was content to be a wild child not quite ready to grow up. But through that, new hobbies were born. Hobbies that turned into businesses and suddenly they found themselves both owning their own little online shops and having tiny businesses that were far more satisfying than any coffee/book shop could be.

This is a little thanks to my sister, who started me off on selling my jewelery online on etsy. Or rather twisted my arm until I made an account and actually started to post things on it. She is also the one who gives me tips and hints on what I should be doing to further my shop, things like making a facebook page (look at my side bar! I have one now) and making a flickr account (still working on that). It's fun and exciting and a challenge.

So thank-you sister :)

It's almost like we opened a shop together.

Only not really.

Creative Mayhem

2010-05-31T21:34:00.000-06:00

I had this grand idea today of doing a tutorial. The problem is, I don't really follow any sort of set process when making jewelry. Nevertheless, I thought I would give it my best shot, and tell a tale of how I turn a neat space into a creative disaster in a few short minutes.

Step One: Find a nice clean spot to work. This is usually my coffee table since the only time I watch TV is when I am making things and like the background noise. That and for some reason I have a love of sitting on the floor, a view my Chiropractor doesn't share with me.

Step Two: Have your critter climb up you to jump on your nice clean spot and get in your picture just as you snap. Everyone, meet Chloe. Terror Extraordinaire.

Step Three: Get distracted taking pictures of said critter.

Step Four: Find one item that looks intriguing and pull it out of supplies. Then pull out everything else that looks remotely like it would go well with vague idea.

Step Five: Get totally absorbed in what you are creating and completely and utterly forget to take pictures of the process.

Step Six: Finally remember to take pictures of the finished product.

Step Seven: Clean up and think up clever name and description for Etsy Shop. Still working on that part....

Kitchen Cupboards

2010-05-29T21:18:00.000-06:00

There was something boring about plain white cupboards so over the past few weeks this has been my project. Paint the cupboard doors red, then use black to paint a tree on them. I honestly thought it would be a big project, but had no idea how long it would take me until I realized that I couldn't just paint a tree, I had to paint a detailed tree.

It was a lot of fun though, and I am happy with the results. What do you think?

The Tagging game

2010-05-28T18:18:00.000-06:00

Alright so I was tagged by the girls at Common Threads in a photo type game.

Here are the rules:

Go to the 8th folder in which you store your photos.
Select the 8th photo.
Post it to your blog and tell the story behind it.
After following the above instructions, you are ‘supposed’ to tag 8 other bloggers.

This is at the 'Parts Canada Super Bike Championships' last June. In between the races they had some stunt bikes come out. It was an awesome day, gorgeous weather and lots of loud sports bikes. I am looking forward to repeating the event this year :)

Now, I don't honestly think I can think of 8 people to tag, so I will just tag the following:

Handmadetherapy

Fervent Ink

Once A Year

... Adventures in life, art, music & mischief.

Chasing Chelsea

A Box of Crayons

Creamy Bow Buttercup Bag

2010-05-26T07:55:00.004-06:00

Creamy Bow Buttercup Bag by handmadetherapy

I have a complete infatuation with this bag. I don't even know if it would suit anything I own and its probably a bit too feminine for me, yet at the same time I think its gorgeous because its so precious and sweet and girly but not over the top. Classy pretty is perhaps a better way to describe it.

Crimson Secrets

2010-05-21T10:17:00.000-06:00

I love the color red.

Its bold, passionate and vibrant.

Earthtones

2010-05-17T11:15:00.004-06:00

I love the feeling of a productive weekend! I got so many things done on Saturday, and then took Sunday off to relax and bead and watch movies. It was fantastic. Now tonight I just have to take some proper pictures of my newest necklace (as seen above) and put it in my etsy shop!

Today was spent entering giveaways at http://www.sewmamasew.com What a fantastic idea, I think next time I might join in myself!

Tea and Sympathy

2010-05-14T11:23:00.000-06:00

It was raining outside, fat drops that fell in a seemingly endless stream battering the windows. It was warm in Esi’s cozy little haven though, the musty smell of books and green tea invading her senses and trying to chase away the melancholy that always came with the clouds falling. Curling ink stained fingers around a pen, she dragged her gaze from the gloomy street and focused instead on the creamy white sheet in front of her. It was fresh and new, blank minus the straight horizontal lines smoothed across it. Closing her eyes she listened to the pitter-patter of rain and let it meld with the beat in her heart, molding into a tune that had been tugging at her for months.

She grasped it for a moment, the elusive notes, and her eyes shot open, fingers poised to scribble it down but then it was gone again, disappearing back into the misty shrouds of her memory. She groaned low in frustration, wanting so hard to pull it back but it was useless. It was all useless. Trying to remember anything, everything. How many months had it been? Close to a year at least.

Sighing softly and rubbing away the headache forming in her temples, she willed away the heartache and set her pen down. She should know better than to try now anyway. Whoever she had been, whoever she still was, was as much of a mystery as the tales in her novels. But at least those had answers, stories to fill up her mind, worlds that existed beyond this tiny shop, books with endings. Shaking her head Esi tried to clear her thoughts. She wasn't going to dwell, she'd fallen into the pain of depression all too many times and she wouldn't let it drag her down today.

It was the rain though, the cold damp that saturated her heart and brought back the day she'd woken up scared and lost, alone on the side of the street at midnight, shivering in the pouring rain, shoes missing. All she had on her was a shirt and a pair of sopping wet jeans with a bank card and driver's license with her picture in her back pocket. She was Esi, she knew her name at least. And she wasn't poor. Perhaps the most disturbing however, was the fact that she was red with blood, running down her forearms and chest in pink rivulets, hands stained red. But beyond a few dark bruises and a throbbing headache she was unharmed. It wasn't her blood.

Terrified and upset she'd stumbled confused to the nearest police station. They'd put her in a room immediately, asking her what happened but she didn't know. She didn't know anything. In the end they kept her there for two days before releasing her, no bodies had turned up, no one had reported anyone missing and they couldn't find her in the system. There weren't many Esi's in the city but she had no criminal record, no fingerprints ever taken. Nothing to suggest why she had no memory, why she'd been abandoned.

Her bank account listed an address that had since been rented out to someone else.

Admitting himself to a hospital after that had done nothing as well. There was nothing wrong with her that they could find and a psych analysis said she was fine other than of course the loss of memory and panic over not knowing anything about himself. A week later she'd bought the bookshop on a whim, discovering she had more than enough money in her bank account to afford it. It was warm, comforting and forgotten just like her. And more importantly it came with a small apartment above it, the price one would normally pay for just the apartment so she figured why not. She had nothing, a place to call home was at least something.

She was still there, without answers and alone.

Blinking back the tears she'd stopped letting himself shed, she picked up her book and curled down in one of the over-sized chairs by the window, the very place she'd been before the rain triggered the music in her mind. Sipping the tea she'd left cooling on a stack of books, she tried to find her place again. No one would come in in this weather, with the exception of perhaps one and he wouldn't mind if Esi was curled up in the corner reading.

*

I love musty old bookshops. This is a strange story. I'm not sure if it makes complete sense or not, but ah well. More to come.

Everyday

2010-04-15T09:15:00.000-06:00

I find it difficult to blog when everyday passes in nearly the same fashion. It is not that it isn't exciting or fun (I do love my life most of the time) it is just that it tends to be repetitive and therefore lacking in things to blog about!

The last few weeks have been slightly different than the norm though, as I hurt my hip yet again and therefore haven't been training on any sort of regular basis and I got a flu/cold yesterday that knocked me out for most of the day.

Although I must mention the most exciting news of the last few weeks. My sister finally had her baby! And a girl no less! My new niece, Ara Aviendha, is beyond gorgeous and I cannot wait until Saturday so I can see her and the boys again.

I need to get back to making jewelry. Maybe I will get on that tonight...

Oh! And when my parents came to visit the other week, Mike and I bought some lovely new couches which is a HUGE improvement to the uncomfortable futon we were using before. And my brother's new truck and my parents truck came in handy while getting them back to the house. We won't ask dad what happened when he tried to move the bookshelf with books still on it though...

That's All!

Missing My Muse

2010-04-01T14:30:00.000-06:00

I really am quite terrible at posting, but I thought I'd get around to upping a couple of my newest creations.

They aren't up on Etsy yet, mostly because while I love to write I am terrible at coming up with descriptions for pieces and titles. I do however, have this amazing friend that is fantastic at it and normally helps me. The only problem is she is in France on a Skiing trip right now. So these will probably sit unposted until she gets back this weekend.

I actually quite like how they both turned out though. So that makes me happy.

Other than that, I've been back to writing which is nice, writing a lot actually. Funny how when nanowrimo comes around I have troubles writing 50,000 words. And yet I've written approximately 51,000 words in the last two weeks. Half of that is because I dislocated my hip again though and therefore haven't been training the last two weeks. It's amazing how much time I have then!

Anyway, I am crossing my fingers that Hilda has her baby this weekend. I want to meet my new little nephew or niece! Plus I think she is good and ready to have that little stinker out!

Sondake!

Paintings, Bloody Scalps and Broken Noses.

2010-03-03T20:26:00.001-07:00

So this past week I have been 'working from home,' (I'll put it in quotations because I haven't had a whole lot to do) because we are moving offices and while we had to be out of our old one by the first... the new one isn't ready yet.

Not that I am complaining. I've gotten lots of things done around the house and managed to make three new pieces for my etsy shop as well as paint a picture for there. Now my old problem is figuring how much to sell the painting for, as well as how on earth I'll manage to ship it! It's fairly large.

Any suggestions?! They would be most welcome. It's 1ft x 3ft in size.

In other news I had a doctors appointment today which was slightly strange. I went to the dermotologist to get this cyst that I have had on my head for about four years removed. Now it wasn't dangerous by any means, but it was a pain, literally, since I kept on bumping it.

It was sort of bizarre. He just sat me in a regular office chair in his little doctors office, said "This is going to pinch," then shoved a needle in my head to freeze it. Two seconds later I feel him push a scalpel into my head and hear it cutting my skin before the freezing kicks in as he digs the thing out. Now I couldn't FEEL that, but you know how you can feel the pressure and you know someone is digging around? It was like that. Nasty I tell you (Sorry for the too much info but I felt the need to share!) And then, just like that it was over. He handed me a tissue, told me sit there for five minutes or so until it stopped bleeding and then I could leave. Mike looked at it when I picked him up and he said it looks as though he glued it shut, I haven't the foggiest idea though since I couldn't feel what he was doing up there!

Speaking of Mike. He broke his nose again last night, it is even more crooked now and that is impressive. That's the thing with training MMA, even if its just for fun, you are bound to get bumped up.

Sondake! (That's All)

Very Serious Business Indeed

2010-02-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

Think I am strange yet? It's okay, I think I am too but this does amuse me.

Well Sil came over on Thursday and after a lot of giggling, Mike looking at us like we were freaks (and telling us he didn't like our makeup as much as usual... whatever that means), eating spagetti and accidentally snorting flour, we got down to the business of taking pictures. Then did more makeup of the gore variety (as shown above) and took even more pictures!

It was fantastic. I miss her already. Why does she have to go to University in Edmonton?!

My poor husband had to work late almost every night last week though and on Saturday, I missed him, so we watched a couple movies Saturday night and vegged out (well he did while I sat on the floor and made some necklaces) then Sunday it was off to my oldest sister's house for my middle sister's birthday party! We stayed to watch the Canada/USA hockey game as well, which, despite the sad fact Canada lost it was still a very exciting game.

Thats All!

Peek-A-Boo

2010-02-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

Well I was trying to take pictures of the earrings I made when my goofball of a ferret (with my husband's help) decided she was curious and wanted in on the photos. I'm not so sure she was impressed with them though, she looks a bit grumpy in the second picture.

I don't think I've posted any writing on here in a while, to be truthful, I havent had a lot of TIME to write... or the energy for that matter. But lets see if I can find a little excerpt somewhere....

Shells dangled from the porch, hitting each other and clanking softly. He sat on the front steps, dilapidated and weather bent, but still sturdy and watched her on the beach. Every morning it was the same, the other would wake up before the sun, tumbling down to the beach to chase back the tide and write the names of those they lost in the sand. There she would sit for hours, drinking in the golden sunlight, peaches pinks and reds shoot across the ocean and bathe their names in color before the tide would return and wash them away. It was only then that she would come back to the tiny little house they had found, still mostly intact and unscarred, and wrap thin arms around his waist, craving comfort in the form of touch and a beating heart.

During the day they would march to the deserted seashore town, buildings bombed out and riddled with the holes of machine guns. There was no one left alive but the air was cleaner than in the core, the ocean breeze brushing away clouds of soot and and leaving sunlight to cover the dead in the beginings of new life. A shoot of grass here, a new tree struggling there. They had food enough to last them years at the grocery store and clothes in abundance.

Night meant stars and lying on the beach before curling up in a bed with a worn mattress and a multitude of blankets, candles lending light in the darkest of nights. They meant sleeping with an ear pressed to a naked chest, craving the thud, thud of a heart, midnights lullaby.

It wasn't perfect, it was hard and it ached to see the morning spent repeatedly in goodbyes. But it was suffered together and because of that it wasn't simply shades of sadness, desperate survival in a world long since abandoned. Instead it was mingled with the blue of the ocean and the warm glow of innocent kisses and needy fingers re-establishing trust and the good things in life.

Right. Remember that story I posted a little while ago? I finished it... this is the ending. It ended up being rather long.. 25,000 words about? Which isnt too bad since I wrote it in maybe two weeks.

P.S. I had a grand ol time this weekend re-fashioning a plain black oversized men's shirt. Sadly I am not so talented at taking pictures of me wearing it (I should have really just taken pictures of me not wearing it... but I only just thought of that now). Anyway, I chopped it up, sewed it back together both by machine and by hand, added some ribbon and then proceeded to have fun with fabric paint.

Of Brass and Flowers and Fighting

2010-02-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

I realized that I am really quite atrocious at actually remembering to post on here. That in mind I will try give a quick recap on my adventures lately!

Our Hap Ki Do studio just started offering 'Combatives Class' on Tuesday's and Thursday's so I took that up since I still (despite almost two years of training) don't like actually hitting people. I figured it would be a good opportunity to work on my striking as well as practice more 'real life' situation defense. We get to wear mouthguards and grappling and/or boxing gloves and shin pads for now, and I have to say it's a whole different game when your opponents are allowed to hit you in the face. But it's lots of fun and I enjoy it, though that brings my training up to nearly every day of the week.

In other news I've been busy creating jewelry over the past few weeks since I started up an Etsy shop finally (just ask my sister how long she has been trying to get me to make one) and posted my first item tonight! It's actually kinda scary, I don't think I have ever sold one of my creations before!

Right! So here are a couple necklaces...

In other news... I have decided that with two pregnant sisters... I can wait a long time before having kids of my own. I would like a neice this time around though... just putting that out there.

That's all!

Christmas Fluff

2010-01-24T16:29:00.001-07:00

I made this a while ago and forgot to post it. Well its off on its way to England now, for a dear friend of mine who is exceptionally inspiring and one of my partner's in crime when it comes to making all things creative. We made a rule once that we had to do at least one thing artsy a week, sadly we don't always keep to that rule but we do try!

I think I'd really like to make costume jewellery...

Golden Treasures

2010-01-24T16:24:00.001-07:00

A Sunday spent on the floor crafting a necklace...

Just a Dog on a Chain

2010-01-18T19:05:00.001-07:00

She wanted to stare at the sun, bright hot white that would sear her eyes, take away the vision displayed. But only the moon shone through slatted windows, casting shadows and making red stain glimmering thick black.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers let him go, Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Kneeling down she eyed cold feet, so pale and still as she traced the empty veins and wished a noise of protest would fill the small space. Nothing came, only the whispering echo of a gun hanging like a ghost in the silence.

Clever tricks and pretty smiles, a mask to hide the lies. Silver barrel with a silver bullet. “Catch him, Kill him, monster, beast. Put him out of his misery.” Orders wrought without room for denial, she was simply a dog on a choke chain, pull too hard and end up strangled. She’d done as they asked, and now tears stung blood shot eyes as she witnessed the result of the rambling lies.

He hadn’t been evil. Golden eyes had been wild but not feral glowing above her, fingers tipped with claws gentle and not tearing. The lips on her’s didn’t bite or gnaw, they nipped and licked, drawing sighs that built to screams. A carnal sin, against the code, flesh and bone should have no persuasion on the soul.

It had ended with a slug through the brain, ending pleasure’s refrain. Skin splattered red washed and dried, clothes tugged on and weapon cleaned, all she had to do now was leave. In the leftover quiet she wanted to explain, “I’m sorry, I was told.” But there were no ears left to hear her voiceless plead. She was just following the leader and leading the unnatural to their deaths with innocent’s masquerading eyes, lamplight to flies.

Standing on shaky feet, screams building in the back of a hollow throat, wet cheeks a final farewell, she backed out and disappeared. A gunman on the loose, trigger finger quick to fire, rid the world of evil; sins tainting an unwilling heart black. But she was just a dog on a chain, master waiting to hear of her fame.

Winter Wedding

2010-01-11T11:30:00.002-07:00

I've been married for five years now, as a bit of a celebration for that, I got together with a friend and took pictures in my wedding dress. Granted I revamped it a bit, added a belt, didn't wear the straps and used the veil as more of a shawl, but it was a good day. I wanted to take pictures in the snow on my actual wedding day but due to weather and time it was too dark and there was a lack of that white stuff! So here we go, five years later I get to do what I intended.

Untitled

2010-01-05T20:36:00.000-07:00

Ash. It floated on the air like snow, coating the city in smeared grey. He took a breath of his last cigarette, ignoring the stinging heat on his fingers as it burned too close to the filter, the smell of singed wool assaulting his nostrils. It was better than the stink of death and charred wood that lingered in the bitter cold air.

Dropping the glowing butt into the cracked stone, already missing its warm nicotine, he ground it under worn boots and pushed away from the wall, slinging his rifle back over his shoulder and trudging down the narrow streets. His knapsack was alarmingly light and he knew carrying it was useless but he clung to it anway. A fools mission, scouting, looking for survivors, in a city of dead. How long had it been since he’d seen the white fog of breath on another soul? Instead he saw white faces rotting, flaking dried brownred and gaping mouths no longer able to suck in air.

He wanted something to drink, smooth gold fire that would warm his heart and keep it beating in his chest. Life felt foreign, he felt akin to a mummy, wraped in clothes that clung to him like a shroud, encrusted in dirt, blood and sweat; days, weeks, months old. A second skin just as filthy as the flesh underneath it. How long had it been since he bathed?

How long had it been?

Since his radio crackled life, since he’d heard orders, since was sent to this forsaken city, since his food had run out? Time was meaningless in a world of gray, shaded mornings, cloudy skies fogged with soot, black starless nights. They’d long since forgotten him, cast him off as another victim of an experiment gone wrong just like his commrades. The rest of his platoon had died the first few weeks they’d been dropped off, some coughing until their lungs bled and spilled at their feet, vaccines rejected. Others putting a bullet through their skulls to silence the screaming that echoed night after night.

It was quiet now, eerily so, to the point where he sometimes aimed his rifle at the sky and let of a round, screaming murder with every bang, just to hear something. But even bullets only echoed hollowly before they too fell silent.

Eyes scanning the empty street he let out a gutteral half whimper half sigh before turning to find shelter for the night. Another day spent wandering on blistered aching feet, ready for a night spent staring through one eye at his knife in the light of his small fire, watching it flash and wondering how it would look drenched in red and glimmering. He’d try if he had the courage, but like a plant withered and brown under the baking sun of the desert, he clung to life for reasons unknown. He’d find someone, anyone, before he breathed his last, he didn’t want to greet death on his own. A vow spoken the morning he woke up to find himself half blind and the last alive.

*

Morbid half stories that spill into paragraphs on my computer screen. I have no idea where this is going. I just started to write it tonight and here it is.

Elephants

2009-12-18T14:59:00.002-07:00

The water is grey this early, a calm unbroken expanse of shades. Breath puffing white on the cool air, she huddled deeper into the wool blanket wrapped around her shoulders, the red of her car the only color in a monotone world. In the poor light she can almost imagine monsters swirling in the deep, peering out where sea met sky and smiling, harmless with sharp teeth and gaping mouths. Were they there to swallow her dreams?

But maybe it’s just the alcohol still humming in her veins, warming her blood and dulling the chill seeping through wool socks and worn jeans. Another year gone. A good year. A fantastic year. And yet the melancholy slips in regardless, like the devil with his pretty lies, whispering half truths and twisted reality. Not good enough, didn’t try hard enough.

They were oddly easy to believe in under the half light where night meets dawn meets day. She’s there alone, has been all night, with only a thermos of coffee spiced with alcohol to keep her company. No one else wanted to venture out to meet the New Year with runny noses and dreams of deserving. She smiles wryly at the thought, running fingers through chilled hair, slicking it back, giant worries and scintillating dreams lumbering through her skull, loud like elephants in her ears, stomping and trumpeting everything she hadn't completed to the world.

Ridiculous thoughts in a tired addled mind.

Crunch, tires on gravel distract her from lonely gloom, so unlike her usual chipper self, before the slam of doors, one two, reach her ears and voices drift through the inky sky. “How do you even know she's going to be here?” she knows the voice and hearing it is enough to make lips twitch.

“Its New Year's morning, where the he else would she be,” She knows that voice too, this one even better. After all, she is intimately knowledgeable about the curve of pierced flesh the words tumble out of. Sitting still, she feels the sorrow tugging on her heart slowly start to slip. Either she was that predictable or just known that well, either way its comforting to hear.

Seconds tick-tock, matching heavy steps on stone and sand until the voices drift closer and he can hear the words, smug and haughty, “See, I told you.”

“Whatever.”

“Shove over punk,” a hand presses against her thigh, ringed and warm and she obediently shifts to the side, making room for her two guests on the hood of her car. “We’ve come to ruin the pity party,” Warm lips meet her cold ones in a kiss, tracings of a tongue, and the rest of the heaviness in her bones seems to float away.

A snort of semi-disgust reaches his ear and she grins, “I don’t think we have approval.”

“He,” the lips mumble against hers, “is just jealous.”

“I’m right here, and you never mentioned trading spit in your list of things to do when we found her,” the words were dry with only a hint of chastisement coloring the consonants and vowels.

Laughing, the other pulled away and made himself comfortable, just as the first streaks of gold tipped over the horizon. “What are you so afraid of? You won’t get cooties and whatever happened to ‘Whatever I want’?”

“It’s whatever I want, not you,” the retort was made through chapped lips and the car dipped even lower with added weight. “It’s bloody freezing out here.”

With a smile, tugging at her mouth and worming its way into her heart, she handed her thermos over. “Drink this,” she urged as an arm snuck around her waist and she let her head fall against a soft shoulder. Her regrets were sifting from her skull to tumble with the rocks on the shore, getting washed away in the light of friendship, lovers, and dawn.

Suddenly it didn’t feel so dark, the past so dreary. The year ahead was bright gold and the elephants, loud and obnoxious in her ears, could shut up.

A/N: Anyone have any regrets from the old year as we approach the new one?

Reptiles

2009-12-10T11:29:00.002-07:00

I've come to realize Starbucks is one of the best places to write for me. Lack of distractions, yummy drinks and music through my headphones. I haven't been feeling too well lately (I had strep throat and all the goodness and fever that comes with it) so some nights, instead of going to jiu jitsu with Mike, he would drop me off at the Starbucks near the Studio and I would simply write write write.

Then there comes the realization that a lot of the things I write are dark. Dark themes that most people would rather shy away from, but for some reason they like to stick in my head and upset me until I get them down on paper. But then they sit there, and sometimes I like how they are written, despite the content, and I want to share them, and get opinions, but I am too afraid of people's reactions.

That said I am going to post a piece of something that I wrote over the last week. It contains some rather disturbing imagery so if there are those of you out there who don't want to read what your daughter/sister/friend has going on in her mind some days and be disturbed... stop reading now :)

Inspired by the lyrics of this song.

Cold. It was cold, breath whispering fog in the early mornings before light hit broken glass, bouncing red, blue and gold through steam, a miasma of beauty. It reminded her of butterflies, flitting carelessly through the air, stamped on skin and shimmering with sweat.

Shivering, she pulls naked knees closer, scraped and bruised with misuse, and tries to focus past the cool bars of the cage pressing into her shoulders. She has a name, she knows she does; or she had, before everything was stripped away and the needles made the world blur. Antibiotics, medication, words so often whispered in her ear as countless syringes perforate her veins, the air growing hot, thick and laboured, skin shrinking and so sensitive to the touches sliding along thighs. It’s not medicine, she knows that much, even as her spine contorts and heat wracks her frame, arching for more.

Once, when she was less caught in the never ending circle of pain punctuated cruelly with pleasure, she tried to escape. Now, whispered praises are like the poison inserted into her arms, noxious and oh so addicting. She learned her lesson well, the bite of a whip curling and snapping against her spine teaching her the consequences of her actions. She listens.

There are no more questions. There were at one point, and she remembers them mattering, recalled that sealing her lips was important. She doesn’t know why anymore but it doesn’t matter, she can’t dredge up the answers anyway. But she misses the queries, they kept her more alert, gave her a semblance of schedule. Now it was just dawn, coloured grime and black iron walls, midnights where scars flashed moonlight jewelry and a studded tongue flicks the white contours in memory. Everything else is just in between, hot or cold, misty.

Footsteps, hollow and loud, trudge closer and through bleary eyes she sees him. She can always evoke his name, it's burned into her flesh, imprinted on her mind. It’s the one she calls out, twisted nightmares and scintillating dreams mingling with reality as the world comes unhinged.

Afterward she's left alone. Always alone. Curling in on herself she stares as the shafts of light, no longer colors. Instead they fall unheeded through the cracks, sparkling on dust. She wants to touch them, but every time she’s tried they simply swirl away, dancing on bright feet, hiding a lingering warmth.

I guess the title only makes sense if you read the song title and the lyrics. There is a lot more to this, and I swear it ends on a hopeful good note... but I needed to get it off my chest and write it. Which is probably evidenced in the way its nearly 6000 worlds long in its entirety and I wrote it in less than 48 hours.

Anyway, try not to judge me too harshly. I am trying to be brave here and show some of my work that I know not everyone will look at with approval.

And that is all...

Nanowrimo 2009

2009-11-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

Well I finished on time! I got my pretty little winner banners and certificate.

Now what to do with the story. It needs to be edited badly. I think I will con my friend Mylan into doing it for me since she is the one I rambled to throughout this whole process of writing.

Untitled Vandal(ism) Secret Live Sessions.

2009-11-16T18:39:00.000-07:00

I wish I could explain my reaction to this video and the two others from Alice Nine's Untitled Vandal(ism) Secret live sessions. The way it is filmed, the sound.... it gives me the shivers and I wish I could have been in that room lying in the middle of the floor, invisible and just feeling the vibrations wash over me. There is something so incredibly beautiful to me about the whole thing. Its not the people in it, its the audio and visiual stimuli together.

Something inside me just clicks.

I love music. I love how a song can make me cry far easier than a movie. I love musicians for writing and playing music that I can listen to over and over and over and over.

I wish the DVD wasn't so damn expensive so I could own it and play it on my tv with headphones on and just let myself get immersed in the music.

Autumn: A Novel about Imagination

2009-10-24T17:38:00.002-06:00

It was mid September and I was late for school. Running down the street, heavy knapsack thumping against my back, I decided to take a short cut through the over grown park that no one used, a choice that I now realize changed both who I was and what I would become. Sneakers trampling through the long grass, I’d only made it a few feet when I tripped over something solid and sprawled to the ground. That day, sitting amidst the dead grass, nursing my dirty palms and scraped knee, was the day I met Autumn.

And this is his story....

When Deklin was ten he stumbled, quite litterally, across Autumn, a small boy who challenges every idea Deklin has about the world and its rules, all with a little imagination. The only problem is, the further Deklin is drawn into the world of pretend, the more he realizes that Autumn doesnt see it as simply playing. To Autumn, fiction is reality.

You can find me here: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/408427

Breath of Adventure

2009-10-09T10:45:00.000-06:00

Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, the sound managed to permeate her headphones, intermingling with her music and lulling her into a hazy half-world of dreams and reality. Curling deeper into her seat she curled her fingers around her plastic mug, warming fingers as steam fogged the window. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack.

If she wanted, she could rub a circle in the iced mist, peer out into the white and black world flying by with every turn of the wheels grating and clicking against the train tracks. The stars were bright, the type of clear that you could only see in the country in winter, without city lights to mar their shine. But instead she simply rested her face against the chilly pane and let the contrasting temperature cool cheeks previous hot from lonely tears.

Curling her feet underneath her she drew patterns in the frost, designs that disappeared with every puffed breath. There were her friends, waving from the platform, hugging her goodbye, sketched out in vapor, melting and freezing with each hot gust. Or was it her that vanished?

Every clickety-clack, clickety-clack, brought her further from her past. Every turning of iron wheels closer to her future. The dreams she envisioned, every mish mashed muddled one, they were in front, they were the destination. The departure however, held all her fears, her comforts, the things she understood.

Could a train carriage, noisy and swaying, bring the answers she wanted? Would her stop, far down the line, be the right one? The right decision, the right city? Was the faith she had in herself enough to push her through tomorrow?

Sighing once, erasing her sketches in an exhalation, she wondered. Life was a journey, long, arduous. It had safe moments, bundled up and sipping tea in an empty train car. And it had dangerous moments, stepping out into a new world, where the streets were strange and the people strangers.

She was young. But she was brave. Ignoring her tears she let her eyes slip shut and gave a half smile to the white window. She was coming, and the world would just have to accept her

****

For all my friends starting out on a new adventure, alone and scared in the big bad world. Most especially Christabel

Photography

2009-09-30T16:11:00.001-06:00

On our Vacation my husband and I went to the Vancouver Aquarium and it was a GREAT chance to practice my photography.

Here are a couple of my favorite shots

Creating New out of the Old

2009-09-30T15:25:00.001-06:00

Last week I spent some time in Victoria with my friend Steff. After sitting around and watching youtube videos on making shirts we decided to head down to the Salvation Army and buy some cheap old t-shirts and see what we could make out of them.

I bought three (but only remembered to take pictures of one). Here is a photojournal of the process.

Original plain grey t-shirt

After chopping up the neck and adding some slices here and there

The painting process (just silver fabric paint, a paintbrush and my imagination

The Final Product (back)

The Final Product (Front)

I am actually really happy with how it turned out~ And to think the whole thing only cost about $3 to make. Now that I am home I plan out getting out some of my old t-shirts I never wear any more and seeing what sorts of fun things I can do with them to make them fun again!

Before that we decided to take a pair of old jeans of mine that were already falling apart and distress them. They aren't quite finished (I need to go at them with an exacto knife and wash them yet) but here is what I have done so far.

Before

After

British Columbia

2009-09-24T17:25:00.000-06:00

Well this past week I have been in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia so I havent gotten a lot creative done other than meeting new people, visiting with old, exploring and listening to good music.

Here are a couple amazing videos that were shown to me of some incredibly talented people.

and

Tonight Steff and I are planning on being creative and making some creations in her room and playing with the new MAC eyeshadows we just bought.

Maybe once I get back I will actually find the time to post about my Hap Ki Do Retreat and this trip (which has been amazing fun). I also somehow need to find my camera cord so I can upload my photos!

Ramblings of an Insomniac

2009-09-18T10:41:00.000-06:00

I haven't really posted any writing in a while have I? I have been writing... just somehow I have a hard time posting some of it here... because of content and language. Maybe I am just afraid I will be judged or disapoint certain people.

As I sit here half staring at the computer screen, half frantically checking my body for bug bites for the tenth time this morning... I have come to the conclusion that insomnia fails at life... or at least it makes thought process a rather tricky thing to complete.

I am sure there are some of you out there that understand the sheer FRUSTRATION of being so exhausted you can no longer think straight and then going to bed and finding yourself spending yet another night staring helplesly at the ceiling, praying with all your heart that your mind will just shut off for once and let you sleep.

Of course paranoia that you still have bed bugs (minus the fact you threw away your bed, had the exterminators come, have your NEW pillows still in their plasticy wrap, there is double sided tape on the legs of your metal futon and all the holes on your futon you could find are taped up) doesnt help either.

Nor does the list of things I need to get done tonight. Somehow finish packing and get my shit together while going to HKD and to Jiu Jitsu (yeah I know I said I was going to give that up but it turns out I just COULDN'T do it) and...And somehow figure out what I am going to do with Chloe while I'm gone.... the girl I normally leave her with is in Ontario right now.

Tonight I might just take a picture and post it of how much of a disaster my basement is and what I have to go through to find my clothes to pack. I don't even know where my suitcase is exactly...

Right. BUT. After tonight I am on Vacation! YAY! Vacations are supposed to be relaxing right? Well I hope mine is. I am going to Vancouver with Mike for a couple days then heading on by myself to Victoria to hang out with my lovely Steff <3 She came to visit me this spring and we had a fantastic time so I am quite excited to see her. Plus she has this arial obstacle course thing that she is taking me to in Nanaimo... I am not so sure about that since... arial means off the ground... heighs... Oh well. I am going to be brave and try it out anyway because it sounds like fun and life is about experiences and trying new things! I am excited!

I'll go look through my files and see if I have any stories to post. Or pictures! I miss photoshoots with Sil... actually I just miss Sil in general. I need to go visit her in Edmonton when I get back. I am rambling now aren't I?

Sorry... things don't make sense these days and I space out a lot. Oops.

I am going to go daydream about sleep now ^^

And thats all.

Bed Bugs

2009-09-13T15:52:00.001-06:00

I was changing my sheets this morning and discovered a huge disgusting infestation of bed buds.

I cried a lot. and hyperventilated/panicked while mike vacuumed up all the ones he could find. Then we threw out our mattress, and bed... and are now in the process of washing everything I own that can be washed. Will be going to the laundromat tonight.

If there is one this I CANNOT handle... it is the thought of bugs crawling all over me. Just the thought sends me into hysterics... now knowing they actually HAVE been. You can only imagine what I was like when I found them.

Always Midnight

2009-09-11T13:23:00.000-06:00

Seconds grate into minutes, numbers glowing red in the black room. The colour reminds her of blood and she can almost smell the coppery scent, but it’s just the ghostly splatters that she’s remembering. Droplets of crimson mixed with shattered glass glimmering on the bathroom floor, a broken mirror the evidence of their last fight.

The clock slips into 12:03, hours after she has swept up the fragments and washed away his blood and bandaged his fist only to have him walk out the door, eyes dark and empty.

The last train left at midnight, three minutes and she knows she should have been on it, should have left and gone home where it was safe. It was pointless to stay here; she was more alone in his empty bedroom than she would have been cocooned in her own sheets. Not that it mattered; both places smelled of the other, had the other’s imprint stamped upon it in the form of scent, touch, taste.

Her lower lip was swollen, worried between teeth as she huddled upright, knees hugged to her chest as she wondered when it all started to go wrong. When had pain medication been replaced with substances far more dangerous? When had she grown afraid of letting him leave on his own, when had she known that it was past simply trying to forget the pain and morphing into trying to forget feeling at all?

Sooner or later he would stumble into his apartment, eyes blurry with alcohol and things she didn’t dare ask. She’d be pressed into the mattress; skin abused with nips and a grip stronger than the he remembered having. And through it all she would cling to pale shoulders, close her eyes and try to find the love that had once filled her heart.

It was fading. With every midnight spent aching, inside and out. With every train that left and she stayed, praying that things would change. That when she hugged him, his heart beat thudding in her ear, he would hug him back instead of just letting his arms lie limply at his sides.

But she stayed, looking for something in those dark eyes, some semblance of the man she fell in love with… for the future they once dreamed of. She stayed because of the moments he was sober, in the mornings when he would curl up on the floor of the shower, his shoulders shaking with sobs as the pain returned to his neck and the drugs left his system and he remembered what he’d done. It was those times, as he’d look at her, eyes filled with all the emotion he tried to forget, and whispered, “Why, Why do you stay, you must be crazy,” that made her pause.

Maybe she was crazy. It was insanity to be sitting here; waiting to find something she wasn’t sure still existed. He didn’t see her; he was oblivious to everything but the needles of pain shooting through his spine, and the steps he took to alleviate it. But she’d rather be crazy than admit to herself the truth.

12:12am the clock shifted again and the creak of a door was heard. He was home. Closing her eyes she lay down and pressed her cheek into the mattress, willing away the tears that burned behind her eyelids as clumsy fingers tugged away the covers and rolled him over.

It was Midnight and in the harsh caresses that followed, the fevered words mumbling past dried lips, she’d never felt so alone.

And afterwards, when the other collapsed on top of her and she had to roll him off, when she had to ignoring the hurt and she would place him on his side, she would press her tear damp cheek to his and whisper in ears dead to the world, “Why? Why don’t you see me anymore? Are you blind?”

And he would sleep.

Because it was always Midnight and there was never any daylight…

A/N: This is based off the following song;

Too Much

2009-09-04T08:52:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I think I do too much....

Like I KNOW I should quit jiu jitsu because its hard on my body and I dont always have the energy to go... but everytime I do go I love it so much that I dont WANT to give it up.

Anyway, thats not the point of this post. The point is to try and clear my mind a little bit and figure out how I am going to attend Jiu Jitsu, Hap Ki Do and go out to congratulate Adam tonight... plus find some time in there to pack my stuff for the Hap Ki Do retreat which is tomorrow morning until monday afternoon. And still make it to bed at a semi-decent time so I am not exahausted.

... there are not enough hours in a day.

I think I will go attempt to write something now in an effort to not fall asleep, I am the only one at work and there is nothing to do.

In the mean time... this is a really pretty song sung by a Korean Artist.

That is all...

Craziness

2009-08-31T13:18:00.004-06:00

I am so exhausted I kinda want to cry....

But for the most part it was a good weekend, albeit insanely busy and at times stressful and emotional. Here goes...

FRIDAY

okay starting friday afternoon after work I went straight to Hap Ki Do sparring class... in which Mike accidentally kicked me in the ribs hard enough to just drop me. I was mad though with enough adrealine in me to get back up and keep on sparring.. ahha.. oops. Then After Hap Ki Do I went and did two hours of Jiu Jitsu which was probably stupid since my insides were all jarred and I was having trouble breathing since I couldnt take deep breaths. But I am fine now so no permanent damage.

I finally made it home at around 9pm, leaving me an hour to shower, do my makeup, hair and get out the door to go to Nanta's (Karaoke Bar in town) for my bestfriend Sil's goodbye party (she left Sunday to go back to school! *sobs) and stayed out until about 3am singing crazy songs and drinking lots of water while ignoring my sore back and ribs.

SATURDAY

I met my friend at 1pm at her house, decided to leave the car there and go wander around down through Prince's Park, downtown, then through Kensigton and back to her house (We walked for probably around 4 hours and I got a cute pair of shorts and we waded through all the kiddie water parks in town eating icecream and holding our shoes. It was fantastic....

After we walked back to her house to let her dogs out, we went grocery shopping and cooked dinner at my house for Mike and Rodiel (Who just came over at Mike's invitation for dinner).

After dinner things started to get a bit bad... My friend called her 'boyfriend' (they were kinda together, kinda on a break because she found a text that he sent to a girl that was rather suggestive) and even though he told her earlier that day he wanted her to hang out with him and his band that night.. when she called him to go there with my phone and he called back... he told her he didn't want her there and she asked why and he just made up excuses... told her he was sorry he called her back and hung up on her.

So she was trying not to cry, even though this guy is an alcoholic pot head that has hit her before, but she was trying to make it work out. So I am sitting there telling her she HAS to leave him (I've actually been telling her that all day and she knew she had to) so... eventually she decides she is going to move out the next day. (Thankfully she already knew that she had to and it didnt take much convincing) I brought her back to her house to let the dogs out again and she smoked about Five cigarettes and had three beer... then we went to her brothers house and he said she could move in with him... she said she would sleep over at my house incase her boyfriend came home... and made it back to my house at like 11pm (After picking up icecream and a movie LOL)

Well at like midnight we ran out into the football field by my house to SCREAM our lungs out... ahahahha then we were sitting on the grass watching the stars and talking while she smoked more and tried not to cry, and some like sixteen year old punks came up to us and asked us if we had weed, which we didnt. So they asked us why we were out there.

Kid: "Why are you two young ladies out here along at midnight?"

Me: "To scream"

Kid: "that is the weirest answer I have ever gotten"

Then they ran away.... and we eventually wandered back inside.. then at like 2am she decided she didnt want to be away from her dogs and ferrets and she was going to walk home which I wasnt going to allow so I told her I would bring her home on the condition that if her boyfriend was home I wasnt leaving her there and if he came home she had to call me right away so I would pick her up. Thankfully he wasnt home.

Meanwhile I didnt get any sleep because I kept on waking up thinking she called.

SUNDAY

Mike and I had a wedding to go to which was actually really cool because it was at the Greek Orthodox church and all ceremonial and everything, definately different than any other wedding I've been to.

Then... I went and helped my friend move out of her boyfriends and into her brother's...

Then we had the reception at 7pm which we finally left at 11pm...

and got home at almost midnight.. then couldn't sleep until probably around 4am...

Although I am pretty sure I turned my alarm off in my sleep this morning but I still woke up with just barely enough time to shower and run out the door.

I would just like to say I'd like a nap and some alone time in which I have NOTHING to do....

but I have hap ki do and jiu jitsu tonight... and may have to help shauna move another load right after work and again tomorrow if she doesnt finish today... but we will see.

Promise is a Word

2009-08-23T11:52:00.000-06:00

Promise is a word that you broke. Pretty little letters that looked so neat as a whole now in jagged little pieces, bloody shrapnel of a bombed heart.

I'm waiting for your phone call. The one that says you are on your way here to beg for forgiveness I won't give. Thats not my place... instead I will return the pain you handed out, inflict your soul until it is the one left battered and bruised and you've lost your faith in love.

But my guess is...

You'll break that promise too.

NOTE:
Don't worry people... this isnt about me.

Weekend Adventures

2009-08-17T08:48:00.003-06:00

*Yawn* I am just going to start this post off stating that insomnia seriously FAILS. One hour of sleep is not enough.

Although the weekend didn't start off in the best light (apparently california sushi rolls and I don't get along so well), by saturday I was feeling fine and after cleaning the house and going shopping with my mom I was ready to go out to my friend Rodiel's birthday party.

We went to a bar/pub called Aussie Rules, complete with duelling piano's that take requests and encourage you to be as loud as you want and to stand on your chairs, it was a good night!

(clicky to make bigger)

Sunday was nice and lazy, my only task to fold about 5 loads of laundry but I did that while watching a movie so it was all good. Then that night my parents took Mike and I out for dinner at one of our favorite pubs, it was delicious and the company was even better.

Now time to buckle down and get some writing done this morning!

Ganbare! (Do your best!)

Perception

2009-08-14T15:36:00.003-06:00

Beauty is most often seen in clean lines and aesthetically painted scenes - pleasing pictures, words, sounds. But what about the hope shining in a dirty, scuffed face? The life struggling to survive in a desolate city, craggy buildings tumbled and war torn. The wrinkles on a worn face, aged and well lived. I think beauty is a word best used to describe the ugly things.

Better Left Unsaid

2009-08-10T16:26:00.001-06:00

There are words never meant to be spoken aloud, words that shouldn’t even be thought. Sometimes, however, we cannot control what we think. Thoughts seep into our mind and take root, slowly poisoning our very cells until our tongues move of their own accord and words spew forth in a sickening display we can never erase - never take back.

Wide eyes stared in horror, disgust and distrust filling their pure depths, salty tears burning away their innocence.

Pain gripped him, knotting his stomach and causing him to sink to his knees, unable to bare the burden of his sins. He had sullied the immaculate, tainted the pure, all through the simple uttering of a few words that were better left unsaid.

The room was disturbingly quiet as he tore his gaze away from those accusing eyes. Inside he felt like a bomb had detonated, but outside, it was calm, too calm, too quiet, too composed. He was waiting for the explosion that would come from the other, the hatred.

It never came. Instead he watched as fingers twitched and eyes blinked before becoming blank. He squeezed his own shut at the horrific sight, bile rising in his throat because he knew he had done that, raped the other of their beautiful naivety.

Cold footsteps rang across the empty silence, a door creaked open then shut firmly and he was alone, his only company the words he could almost see hanging thickly in the pristine room, black and ugly.

Thank You

2009-08-05T13:12:00.003-06:00

I have been thinking a lot about Love and Relationships lately and how blessed I am in my marriage. And because of that, I've come to realize how amazing it is that I had such a good example to follow.

So, I would just like to say thank you to my parents. Thank you mom and dad for staying together and loving each other even when you might not like each other. For taking care of us and for being good parents to us and raising us with good morals and an appreciation for commitment and how to treat others.

Thank you.

Sketching and Cleaning

2009-08-01T18:36:00.003-06:00

Mmm I love lazy Saturdays...

Although to be fair, I havent actually been all that lazy today. I got up to go to Hap Ki Do with Mike and then we to the store to buy some good old house hold necessities (Read: Shower curtain, laundry detergent, mop, and popsicles [in this weather the popsicles are a must]) Then got home and cleaned cleaned cleaned (Which actually reminds me to check my laundry!)

Then I sat down and decided it has been far too long since I last sketched something. So thats what I did... here you go! My Tiger!

And that is all...

Gives Me Hope

2009-07-29T15:10:00.002-06:00

http://www.givesmehope.com

I urge everyone to go and read the entries on this site. I started reading them at work today and had to stop because I was starting to cry because of the sheer beauty of the entries and the things people do to help others. It gives me hope in humanity.

P.S. Since I forgot to mention, Mike and I tested for our next belt level in Hap Ki Do on Saturday and we both passed.

Scar Tissue

2009-07-27T11:40:00.002-06:00

We all have scars
Some are shallow, mars of the flesh
Some are deeper, scratches on the soul

And some are both
An outward symbol of the pain we keep hidden

Why do you do it?
Is it an outlet?
Are you screaming for answers?
Do you want the world to see?
Or are you just trying to escape?
Can you explain it to me?

I don’t understand.
Pain to destroy pain?
Self infliction that won’t fade
It’s twisted
Convoluted

But sense doesn’t seem to exist at times
Not when sanity is gasping for breath
Not when depression’s hands are squeezing

I wish I understood
How blood sooths hurt
How wounds could possibly heal turmoil

But I don’t

A/N: There are people in my life who suffer a great amount, they have to deal with things I wouldn't dare dream of on a daily basis. And yet sometimes I find myself wanting to yell at them, to scream at them to see that what they are doing is only hurting themselves more. But I haven't been there, I don't understand so how can I judge? How can I tell them to stop when I don't know what it feels like? When I have never been in that place when pain is the only thing that offers relief? What am I supposed to do? To say?

I wish I understood
but I don't

The Porcelain Doll

2009-07-22T14:06:00.002-06:00

I’m not what you think I am

I’m not perfect

I bleed
I hurt

I’m insecure with childish fears that haunt me like monsters deep in the dark
I can’t do the things you want, my voice won’t speak, my throat won’t scream

I’m afraid of the dark but I can’t leave the shadows
I want to be free, light and careless but my heart won’t beat, my soul is leashed

I’m not who you think I am

Makeup to hide flaws
Cracked porcelain painted white
Lips stained vermillion

Is there anything underneath?
Or is it just stuffing
Molded with years, shredded with misuse
A rotten core

I’m not

A/N: I feel funky, I think it was the sashimi I ate for lunch. Don't worry though, I'm not all emo or depressive... just amusing my muses for a while. I don't even know what this means or where it comes from or anything...

Bad Food and Good Music

2009-07-21T16:19:00.003-06:00

I have to say, food poisoning is not a lot of fun. After spending most of the day in the bathroom yesterday, curled up on the bottom of the tub or bent over the porcelain idol, I am quite happy I have managed to keep my few crackers and cream of wheat down today. (And no, for all those wishful mothers and siblings out there, I am not pregnant, keep on wishing. It's not happening for a while).

In other news, I really hope I start to feel 100% again soon since I have my next belt test for Hap Ki Do on saturday and am rather nervous. I have a lot of practicing to do before then! But this time I will at least get to practice with Mike again which makes me happy.

At least my favorite band came out with a new PV (promotional video) today so that cheered me up quite a bit.

And that is all...

Disjointed Thought

2009-07-19T21:31:00.002-06:00

I can’t catch a thought

Words spinning and whirling through my brain

Dancing a tuneless jig on my sanity

There are sentences to be written

Words meant to be strung together

Letters joined until they give birth to a world unknown

But I can’t catch a thought

And all that comes out is this

Its meaningless

A Good Day

2009-07-19T15:33:00.016-06:00

Starting off early I 'Pigged' with Mylan (I know that won't make sense to anyone but its an online 'community' sort of thing in Japan. It really is quite adorable and we love to go online together and run around causing mischief. Here is a picture of us, apparently I had a ghost so there are two of me in the room.

Then I realized that it was already 10am and I had to shower and be at my sisters at 11am for my nephew's Birthday. We made it on time though, and had yummy food and talked for a while. I have the cutest nephews Ever.

The Birthday Boy giving me a glare

The Birthday Boy's Big Brother.
Sadly we had to leave the party before cake (though I got to take a sneak peak at it and my sister is amazing. It was a dumptruck and very well done! I wish I could have tasted it!)

Mike however had a Jiu Jitsu tournament that started at 1pm so we had to rush over to our club (Brazillian Jiu Jitsu Fight Club) so he could change and get ready. He was pretty nervous as this was his very first Jiu Jitsu tournament but it ended up going really well. He was paired up against a 4 stripe white belt the first fight, and lost. But his second fight was against a different 4 stripe white belt and he won that one to get third place. He is only a white belt, no stripes yet, so that was very impressive. I was insanely proud of him.

This was the fight that he won.

Later we went out to Coral Springs where our friend Rodiel lives and has access to the community's private lake. It was a beautiul day and we swam for over an hour.

After that we all went out for dinner (Mike, Rodiel, Sumeet, Charmane and I) and it was absolutely delicious. Then headed back to Rodiel's house for a night of candy, beer and RockBand. It was lots of fun until about 1:30am when we all crashed and went home.

It was a good day

And that is all.