Ramblings of an Insomniac

I haven't really posted any writing in a while have I? I have been writing... just somehow I have a hard time posting some of it here... because of content and language. Maybe I am just afraid I will be judged or disapoint certain people.

As I sit here half staring at the computer screen, half frantically checking my body for bug bites for the tenth time this morning... I have come to the conclusion that insomnia fails at life... or at least it makes thought process a rather tricky thing to complete.

I am sure there are some of you out there that understand the sheer FRUSTRATION of being so exhausted you can no longer think straight and then going to bed and finding yourself spending yet another night staring helplesly at the ceiling, praying with all your heart that your mind will just shut off for once and let you sleep.

Of course paranoia that you still have bed bugs (minus the fact you threw away your bed, had the exterminators come, have your NEW pillows still in their plasticy wrap, there is double sided tape on the legs of your metal futon and all the holes on your futon you could find are taped up) doesnt help either.

Nor does the list of things I need to get done tonight. Somehow finish packing and get my shit together while going to HKD and to Jiu Jitsu (yeah I know I said I was going to give that up but it turns out I just COULDN'T do it) and...And somehow figure out what I am going to do with Chloe while I'm gone.... the girl I normally leave her with is in Ontario right now.

Tonight I might just take a picture and post it of how much of a disaster my basement is and what I have to go through to find my clothes to pack. I don't even know where my suitcase is exactly...

Right. BUT. After tonight I am on Vacation! YAY! Vacations are supposed to be relaxing right? Well I hope mine is. I am going to Vancouver with Mike for a couple days then heading on by myself to Victoria to hang out with my lovely Steff <3 She came to visit me this spring and we had a fantastic time so I am quite excited to see her. Plus she has this arial obstacle course thing that she is taking me to in Nanaimo... I am not so sure about that since... arial means off the ground... heighs... Oh well. I am going to be brave and try it out anyway because it sounds like fun and life is about experiences and trying new things! I am excited!

I'll go look through my files and see if I have any stories to post. Or pictures! I miss photoshoots with Sil... actually I just miss Sil in general. I need to go visit her in Edmonton when I get back. I am rambling now aren't I?

Sorry... things don't make sense these days and I space out a lot. Oops.

I am going to go daydream about sleep now ^^

And thats all.