Wednesday, September 30, 2009


On our Vacation my husband and I went to the Vancouver Aquarium and it was a GREAT chance to practice my photography.

Here are a couple of my favorite shots


Creating New out of the Old

Last week I spent some time in Victoria with my friend Steff. After sitting around and watching youtube videos on making shirts we decided to head down to the Salvation Army and buy some cheap old t-shirts and see what we could make out of them.

I bought three (but only remembered to take pictures of one). Here is a photojournal of the process.

Original plain grey t-shirt

front before painting
After chopping up the neck and adding some slices here and there

The painting process (just silver fabric paint, a paintbrush and my imagination

The Final Product (back)

finished front
The Final Product (Front)

I am actually really happy with how it turned out~ And to think the whole thing only cost about $3 to make. Now that I am home I plan out getting out some of my old t-shirts I never wear any more and seeing what sorts of fun things I can do with them to make them fun again!

Before that we decided to take a pair of old jeans of mine that were already falling apart and distress them. They aren't quite finished (I need to go at them with an exacto knife and wash them yet) but here is what I have done so far.

jeans before

jeans after

Thursday, September 24, 2009

British Columbia

Well this past week I have been in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia so I havent gotten a lot creative done other than meeting new people, visiting with old, exploring and listening to good music.

Here are a couple amazing videos that were shown to me of some incredibly talented people.


Tonight Steff and I are planning on being creative and making some creations in her room and playing with the new MAC eyeshadows we just bought.

Maybe once I get back I will actually find the time to post about my Hap Ki Do Retreat and this trip (which has been amazing fun). I also somehow need to find my camera cord so I can upload my photos!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Ramblings of an Insomniac

I haven't really posted any writing in a while have I? I have been writing... just somehow I have a hard time posting some of it here... because of content and language. Maybe I am just afraid I will be judged or disapoint certain people.

As I sit here half staring at the computer screen, half frantically checking my body for bug bites for the tenth time this morning... I have come to the conclusion that insomnia fails at life... or at least it makes thought process a rather tricky thing to complete.

I am sure there are some of you out there that understand the sheer FRUSTRATION of being so exhausted you can no longer think straight and then going to bed and finding yourself spending yet another night staring helplesly at the ceiling, praying with all your heart that your mind will just shut off for once and let you sleep.

Of course paranoia that you still have bed bugs (minus the fact you threw away your bed, had the exterminators come, have your NEW pillows still in their plasticy wrap, there is double sided tape on the legs of your metal futon and all the holes on your futon you could find are taped up) doesnt help either.

Nor does the list of things I need to get done tonight. Somehow finish packing and get my shit together while going to HKD and to Jiu Jitsu (yeah I know I said I was going to give that up but it turns out I just COULDN'T do it) and...And somehow figure out what I am going to do with Chloe while I'm gone.... the girl I normally leave her with is in Ontario right now.

Tonight I might just take a picture and post it of how much of a disaster my basement is and what I have to go through to find my clothes to pack. I don't even know where my suitcase is exactly...

Right. BUT. After tonight I am on Vacation! YAY! Vacations are supposed to be relaxing right? Well I hope mine is. I am going to Vancouver with Mike for a couple days then heading on by myself to Victoria to hang out with my lovely Steff <3 She came to visit me this spring and we had a fantastic time so I am quite excited to see her. Plus she has this arial obstacle course thing that she is taking me to in Nanaimo... I am not so sure about that since... arial means off the ground... heighs... Oh well. I am going to be brave and try it out anyway because it sounds like fun and life is about experiences and trying new things! I am excited!

I'll go look through my files and see if I have any stories to post. Or pictures! I miss photoshoots with Sil... actually I just miss Sil in general. I need to go visit her in Edmonton when I get back. I am rambling now aren't I?

Sorry... things don't make sense these days and I space out a lot. Oops.

I am going to go daydream about sleep now ^^

And thats all.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Bed Bugs

I was changing my sheets this morning and discovered a huge disgusting infestation of bed buds.

I cried a lot. and hyperventilated/panicked while mike vacuumed up all the ones he could find. Then we threw out our mattress, and bed... and are now in the process of washing everything I own that can be washed. Will be going to the laundromat tonight.

If there is one this I CANNOT handle... it is the thought of bugs crawling all over me. Just the thought sends me into hysterics... now knowing they actually HAVE been. You can only imagine what I was like when I found them.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Always Midnight

Seconds grate into minutes, numbers glowing red in the black room. The colour reminds her of blood and she can almost smell the coppery scent, but it’s just the ghostly splatters that she’s remembering. Droplets of crimson mixed with shattered glass glimmering on the bathroom floor, a broken mirror the evidence of their last fight.

The clock slips into 12:03, hours after she has swept up the fragments and washed away his blood and bandaged his fist only to have him walk out the door, eyes dark and empty.

The last train left at midnight, three minutes and she knows she should have been on it, should have left and gone home where it was safe. It was pointless to stay here; she was more alone in his empty bedroom than she would have been cocooned in her own sheets. Not that it mattered; both places smelled of the other, had the other’s imprint stamped upon it in the form of scent, touch, taste.

Her lower lip was swollen, worried between teeth as she huddled upright, knees hugged to her chest as she wondered when it all started to go wrong. When had pain medication been replaced with substances far more dangerous? When had she grown afraid of letting him leave on his own, when had she known that it was past simply trying to forget the pain and morphing into trying to forget feeling at all?

Sooner or later he would stumble into his apartment, eyes blurry with alcohol and things she didn’t dare ask. She’d be pressed into the mattress; skin abused with nips and a grip stronger than the he remembered having. And through it all she would cling to pale shoulders, close her eyes and try to find the love that had once filled her heart.

It was fading. With every midnight spent aching, inside and out. With every train that left and she stayed, praying that things would change. That when she hugged him, his heart beat thudding in her ear, he would hug him back instead of just letting his arms lie limply at his sides.

But she stayed, looking for something in those dark eyes, some semblance of the man she fell in love with… for the future they once dreamed of. She stayed because of the moments he was sober, in the mornings when he would curl up on the floor of the shower, his shoulders shaking with sobs as the pain returned to his neck and the drugs left his system and he remembered what he’d done. It was those times, as he’d look at her, eyes filled with all the emotion he tried to forget, and whispered, “Why, Why do you stay, you must be crazy,” that made her pause.

Maybe she was crazy. It was insanity to be sitting here; waiting to find something she wasn’t sure still existed. He didn’t see her; he was oblivious to everything but the needles of pain shooting through his spine, and the steps he took to alleviate it. But she’d rather be crazy than admit to herself the truth.

12:12am the clock shifted again and the creak of a door was heard. He was home. Closing her eyes she lay down and pressed her cheek into the mattress, willing away the tears that burned behind her eyelids as clumsy fingers tugged away the covers and rolled him over.

It was Midnight and in the harsh caresses that followed, the fevered words mumbling past dried lips, she’d never felt so alone.

And afterwards, when the other collapsed on top of her and she had to roll him off, when she had to ignoring the hurt and she would place him on his side, she would press her tear damp cheek to his and whisper in ears dead to the world, “Why? Why don’t you see me anymore? Are you blind?”

And he would sleep.

Because it was always Midnight and there was never any daylight…

A/N: This is based off the following song;

Friday, September 4, 2009

Too Much

Sometimes I think I do too much....

Like I KNOW I should quit jiu jitsu because its hard on my body and I dont always have the energy to go... but everytime I do go I love it so much that I dont WANT to give it up.

Anyway, thats not the point of this post. The point is to try and clear my mind a little bit and figure out how I am going to attend Jiu Jitsu, Hap Ki Do and go out to congratulate Adam tonight... plus find some time in there to pack my stuff for the Hap Ki Do retreat which is tomorrow morning until monday afternoon. And still make it to bed at a semi-decent time so I am not exahausted.

... there are not enough hours in a day.

I think I will go attempt to write something now in an effort to not fall asleep, I am the only one at work and there is nothing to do.

In the mean time... this is a really pretty song sung by a Korean Artist.

That is all...