Tea and Sympathy

It was raining outside, fat drops that fell in a seemingly endless stream battering the windows. It was warm in Esi’s cozy little haven though, the musty smell of books and green tea invading her senses and trying to chase away the melancholy that always came with the clouds falling. Curling ink stained fingers around a pen, she dragged her gaze from the gloomy street and focused instead on the creamy white sheet in front of her. It was fresh and new, blank minus the straight horizontal lines smoothed across it. Closing her eyes she listened to the pitter-patter of rain and let it meld with the beat in her heart, molding into a tune that had been tugging at her for months.

She grasped it for a moment, the elusive notes, and her eyes shot open, fingers poised to scribble it down but then it was gone again, disappearing back into the misty shrouds of her memory. She groaned low in frustration, wanting so hard to pull it back but it was useless. It was all useless. Trying to remember anything, everything. How many months had it been? Close to a year at least.

Sighing softly and rubbing away the headache forming in her temples, she willed away the heartache and set her pen down. She should know better than to try now anyway. Whoever she had been, whoever she still was, was as much of a mystery as the tales in her novels. But at least those had answers, stories to fill up her mind, worlds that existed beyond this tiny shop, books with endings. Shaking her head Esi tried to clear her thoughts. She wasn't going to dwell, she'd fallen into the pain of depression all too many times and she wouldn't let it drag her down today.

It was the rain though, the cold damp that saturated her heart and brought back the day she'd woken up scared and lost, alone on the side of the street at midnight, shivering in the pouring rain, shoes missing. All she had on her was a shirt and a pair of sopping wet jeans with a bank card and driver's license with her picture in her back pocket. She was Esi, she knew her name at least. And she wasn't poor. Perhaps the most disturbing however, was the fact that she was red with blood, running down her forearms and chest in pink rivulets, hands stained red. But beyond a few dark bruises and a throbbing headache she was unharmed. It wasn't her blood.

Terrified and upset she'd stumbled confused to the nearest police station. They'd put her in a room immediately, asking her what happened but she didn't know. She didn't know anything. In the end they kept her there for two days before releasing her, no bodies had turned up, no one had reported anyone missing and they couldn't find her in the system. There weren't many Esi's in the city but she had no criminal record, no fingerprints ever taken. Nothing to suggest why she had no memory, why she'd been abandoned.

Her bank account listed an address that had since been rented out to someone else.

Admitting himself to a hospital after that had done nothing as well. There was nothing wrong with her that they could find and a psych analysis said she was fine other than of course the loss of memory and panic over not knowing anything about himself. A week later she'd bought the bookshop on a whim, discovering she had more than enough money in her bank account to afford it. It was warm, comforting and forgotten just like her. And more importantly it came with a small apartment above it, the price one would normally pay for just the apartment so she figured why not. She had nothing, a place to call home was at least something.

She was still there, without answers and alone.

Blinking back the tears she'd stopped letting himself shed, she picked up her book and curled down in one of the over-sized chairs by the window, the very place she'd been before the rain triggered the music in her mind. Sipping the tea she'd left cooling on a stack of books, she tried to find her place again. No one would come in in this weather, with the exception of perhaps one and he wouldn't mind if Esi was curled up in the corner reading.

*

I love musty old bookshops. This is a strange story. I'm not sure if it makes complete sense or not, but ah well. More to come.

Everyday

I find it difficult to blog when everyday passes in nearly the same fashion. It is not that it isn't exciting or fun (I do love my life most of the time) it is just that it tends to be repetitive and therefore lacking in things to blog about! 

The last few weeks have been slightly different than the norm though, as I hurt my hip yet again and therefore haven't been training on any sort of regular basis and I got a flu/cold yesterday that knocked me out for most of the day.

Although I must mention the most exciting news of the last few weeks. My sister finally had her baby! And a girl no less! My new niece, Ara Aviendha, is beyond gorgeous and I cannot wait until Saturday so I can see her and the boys again.

I need to get back to making jewelry. Maybe I will get on that tonight...

Oh! And when my parents came to visit the other week, Mike and I bought some lovely new couches which is a HUGE improvement to the uncomfortable futon we were using before. And my brother's new truck and my parents truck came in handy while getting them back to the house. We won't ask dad what happened when he tried to move the bookshelf with books still on it though...

That's All!

Missing My Muse

I really am quite terrible at posting, but I thought I'd get around to upping a couple of my newest creations.

They aren't up on Etsy yet, mostly because while I love to write I am terrible at coming up with descriptions for pieces and titles. I do however, have this amazing friend that is fantastic at it and normally helps me. The only problem is she is in France on a Skiing trip right now. So these will probably sit unposted until she gets back this weekend.

I actually quite like how they both turned out though. So that makes me happy.

Other than that, I've been back to writing which is nice, writing a lot actually. Funny how when nanowrimo comes around I have troubles writing 50,000 words. And yet I've written approximately 51,000 words in the last two weeks.  Half of that is because I dislocated my hip again though and therefore haven't been training the last two weeks. It's amazing how much time I have then!

Anyway, I am crossing my fingers that Hilda has her baby this weekend. I want to meet my new little nephew or niece! Plus I think she is good and ready to have that little stinker out!

Sondake!

Paintings, Bloody Scalps and Broken Noses.

So this past week I have been 'working from home,' (I'll put it in quotations because I haven't had a whole lot to do) because we are moving offices and while we had to be out of our old one by the first... the new one isn't ready yet.

Not that I am complaining. I've gotten lots of things done around the house and managed to make three new pieces for my etsy shop as well as paint a picture for there. Now my old problem is figuring how much to sell the painting for, as well as how on earth I'll manage to ship it! It's fairly large.

Any suggestions?! They would be most welcome. It's 1ft x 3ft in size.

In other news I had a doctors appointment today which was slightly strange. I went to the dermotologist to get this cyst that I have had on my head for about four years removed. Now it wasn't dangerous by any means, but it was a pain, literally, since I kept on bumping it.

It was sort of bizarre. He just sat me in a regular office chair in his little doctors office, said "This is going to pinch," then shoved a needle in my head to freeze it. Two seconds later I feel him push a scalpel into my head and hear it cutting my skin before the freezing kicks in as he digs the thing out. Now I couldn't FEEL that, but you know how you can feel the pressure and you know someone is digging around? It was like that. Nasty I tell you (Sorry for the too much info but I felt the need to share!) And then, just like that it was over. He handed me a tissue, told me sit there for five minutes or so until it stopped bleeding and then I could leave. Mike looked at it when I picked him up and he said it looks as though he glued it shut, I haven't the foggiest idea though since I couldn't feel what he was doing up there!

Speaking of Mike. He broke his nose again last night, it is even more crooked now and that is impressive.  That's the thing with training MMA, even if its just for fun, you are bound to get bumped up.

Sondake! (That's All)

Very Serious Business Indeed

Think I am strange yet? It's okay, I think I am too but this does amuse me.

Well Sil came over on Thursday and after a lot of giggling, Mike looking at us like we were freaks (and telling us he didn't like our makeup as much as usual... whatever that means), eating spagetti and accidentally snorting flour, we got down to the business of taking pictures. Then did more makeup of the gore variety (as shown above) and took even more pictures!  

It was fantastic. I miss her already. Why does she have to go to University in Edmonton?!

My poor husband had to work late almost every night last week though and on Saturday, I missed him, so we watched a couple movies Saturday night and vegged out (well he did while I sat on the floor and made some necklaces) then Sunday it was off to my oldest sister's house for my middle sister's birthday party! We stayed to watch the Canada/USA hockey game as well, which, despite the sad fact Canada lost it was still a very exciting game.

Thats All!

Peek-A-Boo

Well I was trying to take pictures of the earrings I made when my goofball of a ferret (with my husband's help) decided she was curious and wanted in on the photos.  I'm not so sure she was impressed with them though, she looks a bit grumpy in the second picture.

I don't think I've posted any writing on here in a while, to be truthful, I havent had a lot of TIME to write... or the energy for that matter. But lets see if I can find a little excerpt somewhere....

Shells dangled from the porch, hitting each other and clanking softly. He sat on the front steps, dilapidated and weather bent, but still sturdy and watched her on the beach. Every morning it was the same, the other would wake up before the sun, tumbling down to the beach to chase back the tide and write the names of those they lost in the sand. There she would sit for hours, drinking in the golden sunlight, peaches pinks and reds shoot across the ocean and bathe their names in color before the tide would return and wash them away. It was only then that she would come back to the tiny little house they had found, still mostly intact and unscarred, and wrap thin arms around his waist, craving comfort in the form of touch and a beating heart.

During the day they would march to the deserted seashore town, buildings bombed out and riddled with the holes of machine guns. There was no one left alive but the air was cleaner than in the core, the ocean breeze brushing away clouds of soot and and leaving sunlight to cover the dead in the beginings of new life. A shoot of grass here, a new tree struggling there. They had food enough to last them years at the grocery store and clothes in abundance.

Night meant stars and lying on the beach before curling up in a bed with a worn mattress and a multitude of blankets, candles lending light in the darkest of nights. They meant sleeping with an ear pressed to a naked chest, craving the thud, thud of a heart, midnights lullaby.

It wasn't perfect, it was hard and it ached to see the morning spent repeatedly in goodbyes. But it was suffered together and because of that it wasn't simply shades of sadness, desperate survival in a world long since abandoned. Instead it was mingled with the blue of the ocean and the warm glow of innocent kisses and needy fingers re-establishing trust and the good things in life.

Right. Remember that story I posted a little while ago? I finished it... this is the ending. It ended up being rather long.. 25,000 words about? Which isnt too bad since I wrote it in maybe two weeks.

P.S. I had a grand ol time this weekend re-fashioning a plain black oversized men's shirt. Sadly I am not so talented at taking pictures of me wearing it (I should have really just taken pictures of me not wearing it... but I only just thought of that now). Anyway, I chopped it up, sewed it back together both by machine and by hand, added some ribbon and then proceeded to have fun with fabric paint.

Of Brass and Flowers and Fighting

I realized that I am really quite atrocious at actually remembering to post on here. That in mind I will try give a quick recap on my adventures lately!

Our Hap Ki Do studio just started offering 'Combatives Class' on Tuesday's and Thursday's so I took that up since I still (despite almost two years of training) don't like actually hitting people. I figured it would be a good opportunity to work on my striking as well as practice more 'real life' situation defense. We get to wear mouthguards and grappling and/or boxing gloves and shin pads for now, and I have to say it's a whole different game when your opponents are allowed to hit you in the face.  But it's lots of fun and I enjoy it, though that brings my training up to nearly every day of the week.

In other news I've been busy creating jewelry over the past few weeks since I started up an Etsy shop finally (just ask my sister how long she has been trying to get me to make one) and posted my first item tonight! It's actually kinda scary, I don't think I have ever sold one of my creations before!

Right! So here are a couple necklaces...

In other news... I have decided that with two pregnant sisters... I can wait a long time before having kids of my own. I would like a neice this time around though... just putting that out there.

That's all!